Striving For Perfection
by TriXter21
Summary: Would you catch me? She whispers, gulps, silently pleas and prays. Would you catch me before I fall? And it takes her a moment, a second, an instant of sitting there, staring, to answer, her face still firm. Yeah. Yeah, I would. RxT SLASH!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own it…and what if I said I did? Would you guys seriously sue me? Come on. No one on here would actually sue me. You're all too lazy to sue me. _

_Summary: Light is a simple concept, really. In its absence…there is darkness. But where light lies…it shines brighter than the darkness ever wished it would. RxT SLASH! _

_Let the story begin…_

oESoRoToESo

It was a Friday when it happened. Sure, she was the type of person to keep up with dates on a calendar and mark every little thing down…but that wasn't how she knew it was a Friday. No…she knew it was a Friday because of the little signs that showed her that it was, in fact, a Friday. And, by the signs, she could tell that it would be like any other Friday…a Friday that taunted her and seemed to pull her apart, piece by piece.

The signs were simple, really. The date of what Friday it was, specifically, and where she _wouldn't_ be going on this date, told her that it was a Friday. The fact that everyone around the school was cheering about their weekends free to do nothing was also another sign that told her it was a Friday. And the meeting she was currently holding at a distance, wishing she wouldn't have to enter through those doors once more, definitely told her that it was a Friday. Yes. It was most definitely a Friday when it happened. It was a Friday where the perfect Ren Stevens would be known for breaking down, for showing a sign of weakness.

It wasn't like she couldn't hold her composure. No. No. That wasn't it. She was _her._ She always held her composure, no matter what. She didn't have a chance to break and think about anything, let alone stop and let her composure crumble…she didn't need a break, anyways…because she was_ her. _She was the girl that never stopped working, never stopped tiring from the endless journey of perfection. While she never would stop trying to reach it-she knew that she was a perfectionist-didn't she deserve a break? Didn't she deserve to have a little fun?

No. Apparently, she didn't. Not on a Friday. Not on any Friday. Not on any Friday, any weekday, or any weekend. She would always have to work non-stop…it was what was expected of her. And, though she would never stop striving for perfection-it was forced on her, the habit, from her friends to her family…they all expected it of her-she wished that, for once, she could do something reckless. She really, really, for once in her life, wanted to do something…_reckless._ She wanted to, maybe, even do something stupid, for once. She was tired of being perfect. She was tired of being a straight-A student. She was tired of being 'smart'. She was tired of being _her._

She sighed as she watched the endless number of people leaving the high school campus while she, obviously, was left behind. She needed to work on the school newspaper…she was the editor-in-chief for yet another paper in her educational career. She had stayed up all night working on editing other people's articles while she barely finished her own. Sighing, she leaned her head against the window door, closing her eyes.

"Ren, you better get your ass in here, the meeting is about to start." Larry Beale hissed at her, making her jump slightly, her earlier thoughts on halt for a moment. "We don't have the time for you to sit there, staring out the window!" Ren sighed and nodded, putting on a large, fake, smile out of habit. She didn't really feel like insulting him…she really didn't feel like going into the meeting, either. It would just be 2 hours where she would talk and people would barely listen to her. Larry looked annoyed but seemed to notice that Ren needed space, so he went into the meeting without her. But Ren almost burst out laughing at Larry's choice of words, when she thought them over in her head.

_'We don't have time…,' _There was never any time. If there was anything in the world that Ren knew that she _didn't_ have, it was time. She didn't have time to just…be herself. All she had was time to be _perfect._ Suddenly, the idea of doing something rash seemed to crawl back into Ren's mind. The idea became more appeasing by the second. Ren sighed once more and took one more longing glance out the window.

She wasn't just tired of being _perfect…_she was getting sick of it. What would she do with the thought, the irrational thing that seemed to be haunting her? What did she truly want to do? The feeling that came over Ren scared her. It was…overwhelming. She was…scared. Scared of what? Was she scared of going into the meeting? No. She was used to the weekly meetings at the paper by now. Was she scared of not having enough time? What was she scared of? Ren felt a large lump in her throat as tears stung in her eyes. Ren knew what she was scared of…

She was scared of herself.

"Ren?" There was a calm, soothing, and concerned voice that caught Ren's attention. It was familiar, but she knew that she didn't know it extremely well. Softly, the feeling of fear that clenched Ren's heart dissipated slightly. She turned around to see concerned blue eyes gazing into her own. "Ren?" She asked again, wondering if the older girl had heard her. "You ok?" She placed a gentle, comforting hand on Ren's shoulder, finally breaking Ren from her stupor.

"Yeah. Yeah." Ren said, trying to laugh it off. "I'm fine. I'm…I'm fine, Tawny." Ren sighed, looking out the window before looking into the deep blue eyes that held true concern in them. "In fact, I'm perfect." She shook her head and smiled a smile that she hoped would be convincing. Even though Ren had tried, she couldn't help but feel that the younger girl was seeing right through her façade. "Well…I better go…change…yeah, I better go change. I've got a meeting to get to." Ren laughed before she started walking away from Tawny trying her hardest to hold her composure. Ren almost kicked herself, knowing that her excuse made no sense whatsoever. Tawny had to have seen through it.

"Ren…" Tawny whispered, turning around and barely catching the slight shaking of Ren's shoulders. Ren was close to tears. Tawny felt something inside of her clench slightly…she hated it when people cried. "Are you sure? I'm here if you ever need to talk." Ren turned around and nodded back at Tawny, barely able to hide the tears in her eyes. Tawny saw them as clear as day.

"I'm good, Tawny. No. No. I'm better than good! I'm perfect." She turned around and sighed, her voice barely above a whisper, "I'm me…I'm always perfect." Ren walked into the bathroom, her closest escape, missing Tawny's soft words behind the walls of the closed doors.

"No one's perfect, Ren." Tawny's eyes stayed glued on the door, a knowing look on her face.

"No one's perfect."

oESoRoToESo

So, yeah…there we go! That's the first chapter. I know it's not much…but I'm having a bit of a timeline issue right now. P

I'll get on a flow soon, though, as long as people review. That's right…if I'm going to keep this story up, people are going to have to review.

You see that sexy review button? Click it. It'll show you a good time.


	2. Chapter 2

_(Disclaimer: Ok. Nope. Don't own it. I mean…even if I did own it…would it matter? Even Stevens has been off the air for forever. So it's not like I'd get anything from owning it. No money…nothing. So…yeah. Let the story begin!)_

oESoRoToESo

Ren splashed some cold water in her face before looking at her reflection in the mirror. She looked like hell. She had just finished using the bathroom when the waterworks had come down, and she couldn't help it. She didn't know what felt worse: The feeling of her perfect wall crashing down on her, or the fact that Ren wanted it to come down. She didn't want to be perfect…she was a perfectionist who couldn't stand being perfect. That was the problem, though. She might have been a perfectionist, and she might not have wanted to be perfect, but what pained her the most was the fact that she _wasn't_ perfect.

"Ugh!" She wiped her face with a paper towel and frustratingly threw it into the trash can, sighing into her hands. "Now's not a good time to fall apart, Ren. Senior year. Senior year." She chanted to herself gently, as if it would make things better. In all truth, it probably only made things worse. She was going off to college next fall…and she wasn't going to exactly get a break from that. She would probably be working harder at college than at school. And then what was next? Work? Ren sighed. That would probably be even more stressful. She would never get a break…but she didn't need one…she was _Ren Stevens._ And Ren Steven's didn't need a break.

oESoRoToESo

Tawny sighed as she closed the school doors behind her. Something about the look in Ren's eyes unnerved her. Maybe it was just the fact that Ren should have been visiting her relatives-they were somewhere up in the mountains-instead of staying at school that made Ren seem so distant? But Tawny couldn't believe that that would bother Ren. From all that Tawny had ever seen of her, she seemed to enjoy school. Right? Tawny shook her head. Maybe that wasn't the case. Maybe Ren was tired of it? Maybe Ren Stevens was tired of school? No. No. Ren was a perfectionist…that much Tawny was sure of. But…still…did that mean that she loved school? Maybe everyone had been wrong about Ren Stevens all along…?

Tawny slowly began walking to her house, her thoughts racing as she watched the various teenagers begin the same journey that she was. It was a Friday…which meant that most teenagers would have a weekend full of activities to do, but that wasn't Tawny's case. Normally she would have gone to the movies with Twitty or Louis…but Twitty was currently halfway across Sacramento on an Away basketball game against some random high school whose team spirit involved 100's of people shouting 'Go Bananas!!!' or some other random, awkward name that the team decided to choose that they thought was 'clever'. And Louis was up in the mountains visiting some relatives. Who were they visiting again? Was it their cousins? Their grandparents, maybe? Tawny remembered Louis saying something about not even remembering their names. But, according to Louis, any excuse to leave school early on a Friday and go up into the mountains to snowboard-though Tawny couldn't remember Louis ever being able to snowboard, either, now that she thought about it-was a good reason to kiss anyone and call them Grandma.

Tawny sighed. And her parents, once more, were at some random convention halfway across the country. Tawny would, again, be walking into an empty household. It didn't bother her, really. She just figured that, once in a while, she would actually _like_ to see her parents for more than in a couple of nights at a time. It was like the Dean household wasn't really their home…it was just a place to sleep until the jetlag wore off, and then they'd be off again. The Deans weren't always gone, but they were gone enough for Tawny to truly feel detached sometimes. They'd missed holidays before, it wasn't new, and Tawny never expected them to be there on her birthdays, anymore. They always apologized if they weren't there…Tawny knew they loved her. She just missed them sometimes, that was all.

So…Tawny had no plans for the weekend. It was kind of funny, if she thought about it. She had nothing to do. No plays…no movies…no friends. Nothing. She sighed and kicked a rock on the side of the road, watching it as it rolled into the sewer drain. "Nothing…that's not funny…it's depressing." Tawny chuckled as she took in a deep breath and continued down her path. _Depressing._ Slowly, Tawny found her thoughts once more going back to the brown eyes that seemed so haunted…so…depressed… in the empty school hallways. What had been the pain behind them? What had been the reasoning? Tawny could feel the cold shiver running up and down her spine at the pain shooting through her every time she thought of those eyes. There was so much pain in them…so much fear…so much…_loss._ Ren had only left her eyes like that for a moment-completely unguarded- before she put back on the mask she used everyday. But that mask never fooled Tawny. It never had, and it never would. Tawny saw right through it and…those eyes…that pain…it unnerved her.

Tawny spotted a bench across the way, in the park, and quickly jogged over to it, setting her backpack down on top of it. It wasn't like she had to go anywhere anytime soon…and, for awhile now, Tawny had made it part of her daily routine to go to the park and watch the people there. To just relax, really. It wasn't like she was stalking or anything…she just found it calming. Even with all of her yoga and anti-stress exercises-which she hadn't been able to find the time to do lately, anyways-she never had any time to just relax. She knew it sounded kind of weird…but…she enjoyed it. From her normal seat she could hear the fountain in the middle of the park…the soft drizzling sound calming her slightly on-edge nerves. Tawny sighed. She had been through a lot lately…and the park really was a calming place. She sat down and leaned her head against the back of the seat, closing her heavy eyelids. Faintly, the sound of the running noise mixed with the laughing children and parents and the happy high school kids excited about their weekend off but she didn't open her eyes. She didn't really feel like watching today…not today.

Tawny observed people. She couldn't help it. It was something most people knew her for. She wasn't paid $20 dollars an hour for therapy-although she only charged Louis one time…all of the other times for, really, anyone, had been free-because she didn't know a single thing about the people she spoke to, or didn't know how to read them. She knew people…she knew their thoughts…she knew their patterns…and she couldn't help immediately seeing the answers to most of their problems. There were few things-when it came to people and the thoughts of a mind-that trumped Tawny Dean. Ren Stevens was one of those few. Barely, Tawny felt her body relax into the park bench seat, her tense muscles taking in a long needed rest.

It was funny, really, how much of a change Tawny noticed in Ren over the years. Her once sparkling, excited eyes seemed to dull. Not that they weren't as beautiful as they used to be…Tawny always thought Ren's eyes were gorgeous…but…they seemed to lose life. They just seemed…lost. Ren Stevens…what made her tick? What made her work? Even if she did hate school…even if she did hate herself…what made her keep going? Tawny's heart constricted. She was going to keep going, right? She wasn't thinking of giving up…no…no…Ren Stevens would never give up. Ren Stevens would never back down from a challenge…right?

Tawny's whole body seemed to shut off, while her thoughts continued to race, her track of time slowly slipping from her grasp. She wasn't sure how long she had been lying on the bench, but it didn't seem to matter anymore. She felt comfortable and relaxed…

Vaguely, as if from a far off distance, she could have sworn that she heard someone crying. Tawny's eyes shot open and she gasped, only to be faced with nothing. No one was there. In fact, she was shocked when she was met by darkness. "I must have dozed off…" Tawny moaned, wiping the sleep from her eyes as she leaned forward, propping her elbows on her knees and her head on her hands. She smiled at the sight before her. The park was beautiful at night. It wasn't extravagant…but it was beautiful. The water was still trickling from the fountain, the streetlights all around lit up just enough so that it glared perfectly off the water's surface. The fountain was quaint…it wasn't extravagant either…but it was still beautiful. It was a simple fountain, the water overflowing over the edges so that it would fall into the larger basin underneath the smaller one. The park was pretty much empty in its late hours except for one person left on the benches across the park.

The only person left, lying under an old blanket, a copy of some random magazine in his hands, was Miles…his dark black hair swept in front of his eyes as he read, a small smile on his face. He seemed to notice that Tawny had woken up and turned around to flash her his dazzling smile. Tawny had known Miles for nearly four years now…she had met him her freshman year in high school, where he had been a senior. He had couched her in drama and they became extremely close friends…although, they never dated, Louis always thought that something was between them. Both of them couldn't help but laugh every time something was suggested…but, still, they were close. They had been there for each other, through the rough times in life. He was extremely handsome, no one would doubt…but he was also recently homeless. And his story was, well, rather tragic. He had spent all of his money on his fiancée, Lauren, only to have her sleep with another man on their honeymoon. They got divorced the next day…and, well, Miles was crushed. That was two years ago, now, and he still hadn't managed to pull himself completely out of the dumps. Most nights Miles bounced from house to house, some nights renting out a hotel with the money he made from…god knows where…and the other nights he would snuggle under the same old blanket he was under now and sleep in the park. Tawny always managed to persuade him-if she ever saw him even try to sleep in the park-to sleep at her house, though. The Deans trusted Miles and he almost seemed like an adopted family member into the house. To Tawny, Miles was like a brother…and to an only child…that meant a lot, sometimes.

Tawny yawned and stretched back on the park bench, checking through her bag to see if she had any of her lunch left. She smiled as she came across the turkey sandwich carefully wrapped in a Ziploc bag. Every time Tawny came to the park she usually kept some of her lunch-or made some, so that she could give it to him-and gave it to the struggling man.

Pulling her backpack onto her shoulders, Tawny started walking towards Miles and matched his smile as she handed him the sandwich. "Thanks, Tawny…you're a life saver." Tawny nodded and pulled a dollar from her pocket and handed that to him as well.

"You're gonna make me broke, too, Miles, you know that?" Miles chuckled and took a rather large bite from the sandwich and patted the seat next to him. Tawny sat down and put her backpack in front of her, sighing for what felt like the eightieth time that day.

"You really don't have to…I mean…the sandwiches and dollars a day really add up, Tawny…." Miles whispered but Tawny silenced him with a knowing look and smirked when Miles took another bite out of the sandwich. "I was getting kind of worried, y'know. I mean…you really should be careful, Tawny. You shouldn't fall asleep on a damn park bench. You're gorgeous, Tawny." Miles winked at her, his dark hair falling in front of his eyes. One was red and one was blue…honestly, it did make a wonderful combination. How a woman could ever cheat on that man, Tawny never knew. "You could get raped or murdered. And, honestly, I don't want that!" Tawny laughed and yawned, stopping when a familiar sound came to her ears. It was the same, faint, crying noise that she heard earlier.

"Tawny, what is it?" Miles asked, half of his face stuffed with a sandwich. Tawny silenced him and stood up, listening intently.

"Do you hear that?"

"Yeah. Where…is…," Tawny silenced Miles once more, only this time with a glare. Tawny hesitantly walked to the edge of the park, looking down the street that led to the school. She gasped when she noticed the same shaking shoulders she had seen earlier that evening, in the school halls. It was Ren. Tawny shook her head, turning towards Miles.

"Hey, look, Miles, why don't you spend the night at my house tonight, alright? You know where the key is…I'm gonna go make sure that she's ok." Miles looked down the same way and noticed Ren and nodded down towards the key.

"Are you sure, Tawny? I mean…you guys aren't exactly close…but…she looks like she needs a friend right now." Miles pulled his blanket into his arms and grabbed his magazine as well, stretching his tired muscles out. Miles smiled…he would get a shower tonight! He gave Tawny a small kiss on the cheek before running off towards the direction of her house. Tawny whispered a quick goodbye to him before jogging towards Ren, hoping to hide the worried look on her face. What was Ren doing out so late? It had to be around 7 o' clock at night, from the look of things. Why was she walking? Didn't she normally take her car to school? Was that where Ren was even coming from? Was she alright? Tawny sighed as she halted in front of Ren's slumped form. Ren was on a bus bench, her eyes closed tight, tears cascading down her face. She obviously hadn't noticed Tawny. Tawny knelt down in front of Ren, her thoughts racing for an answer to reach the girl.

"Ren?" Tawny whispered, trying not to startle the older girl. Ren flinched and her eyes shot open, fear in them. Ren gulped. Obviously…she hadn't thought anyone was around…and never, in a million years, would Ren Stevens want to be caught in a moment of emotional weakness. Tawny gently moved her hand under Ren's chin, pulling Ren's eyes up to look at hers.

"Ren." Tawny stated softly, wiping the tears from Ren's eyes. "Come on. Let's get you home. I think you could use a friend right now." Tawny stood up and held out her hand, hoping Ren would take the gesture for help. Ren just nodded numbly and took Tawny's hand, pulling herself up on shaky knees. Ren wiped the tears from her eyes and shook her head as they started walking towards the Steven household.

"I'm sorry…I…I must just be on my time of month or something…." Ren started, her voice slightly gruff from crying.

"No, Ren. No more excuses." Tawny shook her head and looked at Ren with a serious face. "You are not making any more excuses and I am going to make sure that you are ok tonight. You don't have to be sorry…you just need a friend tonight. I mean, I might not be your closest friend…but I'm still a friend, Ren. And I think I could help." Tawny placed her hand on Ren's shoulder and Ren couldn't help but jump inside from the emotion in Tawny's eyes. She really cared. Tawny _was_ a friend…she wasn't just saying it…she meant it. Ren nodded and found a smile cross her face at the feeling that moved inside of her. Someone cared. Tawny cared.

"Tawny…?" Ren gulped, feeling herself stop in the middle of the street. Tawny stopped from her stride next to her and turned to face Ren, the concern still on her face. Ren felt the drastic fear hanging over her almost seem to fade out of existence when she looked into Tawny's eyes. Tawny's eyes were shining, even when it was dark. Ren could see the sparkling blue that seemed to melt her to the core flash when their path connected with Ren's brown.

"Yeah?" Tawny whispered, her eyes never moving from Ren's.

"I…I just…," For a moment, the craziest idea crossed Ren's mind. They were so close. Ren and Tawny were so close…their bodies were so close…what would happen if she…what would happen if she moved just a little closer and pressed her lips against Tawny's? What would she do? Ren shook her head. That really _was_ the craziest idea she had ever heard. Ren wasn't…no…Ren wasn't gay. And, even if she was…which she wasn't…she would not, in a million years, fall for her brother's girlfriend. Somewhere in the back of Ren's mind chanted the words '_ex-girlfriend_', but Ren ignored it and shook her head once more, trying to clear her thoughts. "Thank you." Tawny flashed Ren a brilliant smile and nodded.

"Of course, Ren. What are friends for?" Tawny continued walking and Ren followed, a small, real, genuine smile crossing her lips, the first in what felt like years. The fear, the pain, the…_loss_…that had consumed Ren only minutes before was completely extinguished, now, and Ren felt the smile grow even larger as she realized that. She hadn't felt this good in…forever. The girls stood in front of the Stevens household in a matter of moments and Ren pushed her key into the lock, twisting it and pulling the door open, revealing an empty household.

Ren stepped into the house and turned on the lights, closing the door behind Tawny. Tawny walked into the kitchen and pulled open the fridge, "Grab two spoons." Tawny's muffled voice came from behind the fridge door. Ren listened and couldn't help the confused look that crossed her face when Tawny pulled out a gallon of ice cream.

"Ice cream?"

"Yup."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah." Tawny stated, a serious look on her face. "Ok. First off…you said 'it might be my time of month'…which it probably isn't…you were probably just using that to cover up for the fact that you were crying…but, still…what girl doesn't want ice cream on their period?" Tawny pulled the container of the ice cream open and set it down next to Ren and, to Ren's amazement and disgust, sat down on the floor. "And second off…"

"We're going to be sitting on the floor too?" Ren laughed at the thought. The floor had so many germs…so many…blech! Ren didn't even want to think about what the floor had 'so many' of. Ren shook at the thought. It wasn't that she was a complete clean-freak…well…ok…maybe she was…but she just…didn't normally eat on the floor. Tawny was an interesting kid, most definitely, but Ren still found herself smiling at the sight of her on the floor.

"Well…I know it's kind of weird but…" Tawny laughed and shook her head, patting the spot next to her. Ren froze for a moment, thinking it over, and then sat down next to Tawny. Tawny smiled and pulled the ice cream down from the counter, setting it down between them. "My mom…before she would always go away to conventions and everything…when she was, you know, actually here for more than a day at a time…she'd always eat ice cream with me on the floor." Tawny handed Ren a spoon and smiled, a sigh escaping her lips. She was never normally this open with, well…anyone. There was something about Ren that made her feel…_safe_, almost. It was like, for once, Tawny didn't have to worry about what came out of her mouth. She didn't have to worry if something she didn't want people to know about her slipped out. She felt safe with Ren. Tawny daringly grinned at Ren and pushed her spoon into the ice cream, pulling out a scoop of the vanilla-flavored dessert and raising it to her lips. Tawny knew that Ren might have been lying about her time of month…but, still…what girl could resist ice cream, when it was put in front of them? In one swift movement, Tawny engulfed the spoon and the vanilla taste spread throughout her mouth, making a small smile come to her face.

"I don't normally…eat on the floor." Ren laughed, staring down at the ice cream. "Ah…what the hell…I might as well live for once, right?" Both Ren and Tawny chuckled as Ren took a spoon full of ice cream and let the taste seep into her senses. Soon, both of the girls were talking about everything from politics to authors, things neither of them had the chance to talk about, since it wasn't really found a topic of interest with their friends, both laughing and debating. Neither of them noticed the heavy rain outside while they continued to talk, the ice cream mixing with their smiles and laughter.

For the first time in a long time, Ren was laughing, and maybe…none of the other stuff really mattered, anymore.

oESoRoToESo

_(A/N: Alright. So…there's the second chapter. I tried to make it especially long because, well, it took me a lil' while to update! ) So…yeah! Haha._

_You gotta love ice cream. And...I promise, it's good ice cream. Yes, it might just be vanilla...but vanilla can be amazing if you just give it a chance. ._

_By the way…you see that review button? I know…it's gorgeous. It'll strip dance for you if you review. Seriously! No joke! Now review!)_


	3. Chapter 3

_(Disclaimer- Don't own it. Don't sue. If you do sue…then I won't write anymore. So…yeah. You'll kill my career…my life…and take all of my non-existent money away. So…don't sue. We good? Ok. We're good.)_

oESoRoToES

"Hemingway…really?" Tawny Dean asked as she took another scoop full of ice cream.

"Yeah." Ren replied, also taking another scoop of the fluffy white substance.

"Well…like I always say…you don't have to like reading something to appreciate it." Tawny smirked and both of the girls laughed.

"What about you, Tawny? Who'd you pick as one of the most influential American authors?" Ren asked looking intently at the younger girl in front of her.

"I'm not sure…that's tricky. I think that you could look at any author and point out the influences their writing had on the world. I mean…look at Hemingway. I personally never liked reading his works…but they have a purpose. They make the reader think. And because of that, Hemingway is renowned for his works of literature simply because he did that. He made people think. He never just handed the story full-out…he was detached. He made the readers made the connections on their own." Tawny stated and Ren nodded, taking another scoop of ice cream. It was nice to finally talk about something intellectual with someone for once. With Ruby everything was all about boys and parties and Ren was sure that things were the same way with Louis for Tawny. Well…with girls. Louis' thoughts probably always revolved around girls. But either way, neither of them ever really had an intellectual conversation. Ren smiled. It was nice to actually think with a friend for once.

"But there are a lot of writers out there, in history, like Hemingway…it's tough to choose." Tawny sighed, scooping up another spoonful of vanilla ice cream into her mouth. "Mark Twain…Phillis Wheatley…Poe…Hawthorne…Emerson and Longfellow…but, I think, if I had to choose one…I'd have to go with T.S. Eliot."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Tawny sighed as she thought of one of her favorite authors. "I kind of found a lot of T.S. Eliot's stuff when I was going through some rough times in my life. It kind of inspired me, artistically. And I would imagine that T.S. Eliot inspired many others, as he inspired me." Tawny smiled at Ren as her thoughts seemed to turn nostalgic of the stories she had read. "Also…his works…they're beautiful." Ren smiled at Tawny and was about to say something when she realized just how hard it was raining outside. She turned around and popped her head over the counter, her eyes going wide at what was happening outside. The wind was raging in the storm, the rain pounding down against the ground. Ren could feel her heart pounding against her chest, her mouth dry.

"I love the rain." Tawny whispered with a small smile on her face causing Ren turn and look at her. Ren didn't want to say it…but she hated storms. She absolutely hated them.

"R-Really?" Ren gulped. She hadn't realized how bad it was outside. She had been so busy talking with Tawny…she had been too busy laughing and feeling…_safe… _that she hadn't had enough time to stop and feel scared.

"Ren…are you ok?" Tawny moved the ice cream to counter, her hand gently touching Ren's shoulder. Tawny had been holding the ice cream for a while now and her hands were cold against Ren's bare shoulder, which was burning hot. Ren shivered at the feeling.

"I…I just don't…," Ren clamped her eyes tight when she heard a crack of thunder outside. Tawny nodded. She understood. Obviously…Ren was not too keen on storms. Tawny thought for a moment and looked down at Ren's face. Her eyes were closed tight, her eyebrows furrowed and her hands were clamped over her ears. Tawny could tell that she was trying to will the sound and the rain and the storm itself to go away. Unfortunately for Ren…that wasn't going to happen anytime soon. Tawny couldn't help but smiling at the sight of Ren. She looked like a child who was told something that they didn't want to hear. She wouldn't have been surprised if Ren starting singing, 'La la la! I caaaan't hear you!' Tawny smirked. Ren kind of looked cute when she did that. Then again…she managed to look cute…no…beautiful…all of the time. Tawny shook her head. Where did that come from?

"I…I know I must look silly it's just…" Ren winced when she heard another crack of thunder outside. "I…I just really don't like storms."

"It's ok. I understand." Tawny thought of earlier. At the school and at the bus stop…Ren…she wasn't ok. It wasn't just the storm. Tawny had been enjoying talking to Ren over the night…but…Tawny figured that some point in the night, she was going to have to ask Ren about what had happened. Ren needed to talk about it…she couldn't just keep things bottled up inside of her.

"Ren…" How should she start? Should she just go ahead and say it? Ren looked quizzically at Tawny-whose mouth opened and closed like a goldfish, the words not finding their way out of her throat-and momentarily forgot about the storm. Tawny sighed. "About earlier…" Maybe she should just go ahead and say it? "I think you need to talk about it. It really isn't good to keep things bottled up inside of you, Ren. I'm here for you, if you ever need someone to talk to." Ren's eyes had trailed to the floor. She was wondering when that was going to come up in the conversation. She had been hoping it never would. "I just wanted you to know that." Ren nervously bit her lip, her hands busying themselves by playing with the edge of her shirt.

Louis had always told Ren that Tawny was probably the best person there was to talk to, if she ever needed it. What would happen, if Ren told her? Would she freak out? Would she be surprised? Well…who wouldn't be…the _perfect_ Ren Stevens wasn't perfect. Ren looked nervously up at Tawny. She was kneeling next to Ren, a patient look on her face. Their eyes connected and Ren could see the concern in them. The seas of blue seemed to engulf her and Ren found the words leaving her lips before she could even think about stopping them.

"I'm scared." She choked out and nearly slapped herself. Damn Tawny's eyes. They made her do it. Ren groaned and leaned forward, rubbing her eyes.

"Scared of what?" Tawny questioned, her hand gently moving to Ren's back where she rubbed small circles, almost having a hypnotizing effect on Ren.

"I…I don't know." Ren felt all of the frustration and pain rise to the surface once more. She stood up hastily, her hands moving to her temples in an attempt to quell the growing headache that was surfacing along with her feelings. "Everything!" She shouted, starting to pace. "I…I'm…I'm scared of everything and I just…I don't know what to do!" Ren began pacing, not knowing what else to do to get the energy, the raging feelings, out of her system.

"I'm tired of everyone thinking I'm perfect…and I'm not perfect! I'm not perfect…and, you know what? I hate it! I hate that I'm not perfect. I don't want to be perfect but…I'm…I'm so sick and tired of being perfect that I just…I just want to…to yell! I want to scream!" Ren felt her whole entire body begin to shake. This had all been inside too long.

"Of course, Ren. No one is perfect." Tawny stated simply.

"But…I…I can't stand_ not_ being perfect. I don't know _how_ to not be perfect!" Ren let out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through her hair. "And I'm tired…I'm so tired, Tawny. I don't know what to do…and I'm scared of what I want to do." Tawny nodded, knowing the feeling all too well. "I want to do something drastic. I want to…I just want to do something crazy! I know it doesn't sound like me at all but…but I love the thought…and that scares me. It scares me that I love the sound of something crazy. Of something drastic." Ren sighed and collapsed next to Tawny, burying her head in her hands.

"I just…I don't…I don't want to be me any more. I don't want the stress. I don't want the workload…I don't want the stereotype that goes with me…I just…I don't want to be me any more." Ren felt the tears start to fall from her eyes, but she didn't care anymore. For some reason, with Tawny, she felt safe. She felt like it was alright, for once, to let everything out.

"I want to do something to change everything. I want something I do to be worthwhile…to be meaningful." Ren sucked in a breath, the tears falling freely from her eyes now. "I work so hard…but it never pays off. All it does is give me more work…more work…and…I…I don't want more work. I just want to sit down. I want to relax." Ren gasped between her tears, shaking her head, and looked up at Tawny, a pleading look in her eyes.

"I don't want to be me anymore, Tawny…and that scares me." Ren pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her head back into her hands, wanting any form of warmth. She felt so empty…so cold.

"Ren…" Tawny whispered and she moved around to the front of the older girl, kneeling down and sighing. Ren pulled her body closer to herself and Tawny sighed once more. "I'm not going to let you hide, Ren. You have to face this." Tawny pulled Ren's arms off of her knees. Ren tried to turn her face away but Tawny gently moved her hands under Ren's chin and forced the older girl to look her in the eyes. "It's my turn to talk now, okay? And you're going to listen to what I have to say." Ren nodded and sniffed, the tears still falling from her eyes.

"Ren…the things you do _are _worthwhile. They _are_ meaningful. Not only do half of them benefit a lot of charity organizations or benefit our school…but they're going to help you get into one of the most prestigious colleges in the world. Which, I'm sure, you'd get in anyways, since you're so damn smart." Tawny smiled when Ren chuckled, even though the tears continued to fall down.

"No one is perfect, Ren. No one. Not me…not you…we all have our own problems. We just have to learn how to go through life with those problems. Some of them might never go away…but you'll find a way to help cope with them, in the end. Listen to me, Ren…Life _will_ get easier. There will always be troubles…but it will get easier." Tawny never looked away from Ren's eyes, or moved her hand from under Ren's chin. Ren couldn't help but gulp from the intensity in Tawny's eyes. "We all want to do something drastic sometimes…I know there have been times when I gave into that feeling, Ren." Tawny sighed and continued on, not wanting to stay on that topic too long.

"It's ok to take risks. It's ok to want to change, Ren. It's ok to change. You don't have to be scared. You'll always have people that love you that will support you along the way. Life isn't easy. There will always be stress. There will always be obstacles that you will have to triumph over. But you will triumph over those obstacles, Ren. You will because of who you are. Not the stereotype 'perfect' Ren Stevens…but the real Ren Stevens. The same Ren Stevens who just poured her heart out, crying to me. You will make it Ren…you're bound to make it." Tawny smiled down at Ren, her own eyes tearing up. But she wasn't going to show that. Now wasn't supposed to be focused on her. "You're bound to make it because you're the A-list material, Ren. You're smart…you're funny…not to mention beautiful…you'll make it, Ren."

"It's ok to be scared, Ren. It's ok to be scared of what's going to happen…it's ok to be scared of yourself. It's ok to break under stress. Everyone has their breaking point. No one is perfect. But I'll always be here for you to talk to about anything, Ren." Tawny gently wiped them away and kissed Ren's forehead softly, lingering for a moment.

"I promise." Ren pulled Tawny against her, wrapping her in a tight hug. Tawny smiled and hugged back. Ren instantly felt the cold that had spread throughout her body evaporate as Tawny's arms encircled her, warmth spreading throughout her body.

"Thank you Tawny." Ren whispered against Tawny's ear and hugged her tighter.

"I'll always be here for you." Tawny whispered, closing her eyes tight. She pushed the fact that being this close to Ren was slightly intoxicating out of her mind. Thunder cracked outside and Ren smiled when she realized that she wasn't afraid of the storm…not then. Not at that moment. Not with Tawny. She felt safe. She felt ok. She finally felt ok.

After a couple of moments longer in the tight embrace, both of the girls pulled away. "You should probably stay until the storm rolls over." Ren whispered and Tawny nodded.

"Yeah. I'd prefer not to walk home in that." Tawny smiled and then laughed.

"What?" Ren asked, wiping the tears from her eyes. What was Tawny laughing about? Tawny reached on top of the counter and placed the ice cream in Ren's lap, handing her a spoon, and making both of them laugh.

"I think we need some more ice cream."

oESoRoToESo

_(A/N: There it is. Now, guys…I won't update until I get three reviews per chapter. Yup. I think we need foundations, here…and foundations have been set by other amazing-if I may say so…which I just did…so…I may-writers and I intend to keep that for my story, as well. So I won't update until I get 3 reviews._

_Everyone hear that?_

_I won't update until I get 3 reviews-Although I always except more! .._

_Also…if you review…Review button…Vegas…that's all you need to know. Love ya guys! Till next time!)_


	4. Chapter 4

_(Disclaimer: Ok. If I said I had ownership over Even Stevens…who would care? Not only is the show long gone by now…but WHO WOULD CARE?! No one would take the time out of their day to sue a girl who really doesn't have that much._

_I mean, for Pete's Sake, I'm just a kid…kind of! Haha. Seriously! WHO SUES A KID?!?!_

_They just wouldn't have a life then._

_So on with the show!)_

oESoRoToESo

"It's getting light outside." Ren blinked, not able to believe her eyes. Had they been talking that long? Tawny and Ren were in a rather engaging discussion when Ren had chanced a glance outside, noticing not only the fact that the storm was gone…but it was nearing daylight.

"Wow…really?" Tawny asked, looking over the counter to see the sun barely rising over the trees in the Steven's backyard. Tawny sighed, knowing what this meant. They would both go back to the way things were…barely talking to each other…barely seeing each other. Tawny looked over at Ren and smirked before standing up, stretching her weary muscles. She didn't really want to let Ren know it but…she had more of an excellent time with her, in a short span of 12 hours than she really had with Louis and Twitty all of the time.

Well, it wasn't that she didn't have an excellent time with Louis and Twitty. They were probably her best friends, excluding Miles. It was just that…Ren actually had an opinion on intellectual things. Ren actually knew who her favorite poets were and who her favorite artists were…and they could discuss them. Tawny nearly sighed again. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately, didn't she?

"Hey Tawny…" Ren's voice sounded distant as it trailed off, almost like she had a lot more that she wanted to say than just a name.

Tawny realized she had been staring at the rising sun and shook her head, turning to face Ren.

"I just…" Ren shook her head and smiled, catching Tawny off guard by pulling her into a tight hug. "Thank you."

"No problem, Ren." Tawny pulled away and smiled slightly. "Anytime." She yawned, knowing that she should probably get home. It was 6 in the morning after all. Tawny threw away the two empty gallons of ice cream-they had managed to go through two whole gallons of vanilla ice cream throughout the night-and turned over to look at Ren, who was putting the dishes in the dishwasher. Ren sighed, knowing the date. It was Saturday. Her birthday was next week and she knew the heavy load on her calendar until then. Ren sighed. It never seemed to stop.

By luck, or perhaps by some miracle, she managed to have nothing to do that Friday, on the day of her birthday, whatsoever. Originally, she wasn't planning on doing anything all that special for her birthday. Ren kind of, after having so much stress on her, wanted to just relax a little. She didn't really want any large parties or sleepovers. She just wanted to come home, eat some dinner, open some presents from her family, and catch up on months upon months of lost sleep. Ruby, however, once she found out Ren's plans, had been extremely disappointed and practically begged Ren to at least let her come over.

Along with a couple hundred of their 'closest friends'.

Ren sighed. Ruby, if she didn't get what she wanted, could be a, well…pain in the ass. And she just wouldn't leave her alone. So, around a week ago, Ren had finally agreed to let there be a party thrown at her house. Ruby immediately went on to dialing their 'closest friends'. Ren probably didn't know anyone that would be coming except, maybe, two people. One of those two would be Ruby. And you can never count on who the second would be. With Ren's luck, it would probably be one of her ex's. Ren sighed…none of her relationships ended up well. She always ended up getting hurt. So, eventually, after Jason and Ren broke up two years ago, she decided to lay off of relationships for a while. She hadn't had anything more serious than a date or two with a guy for two years. Her parents had originally worried…but she just told them the truth. She didn't feel like it anymore. It was too much work.

Too much work taking away from her schoolwork.

Ren would have rather had a quiet evening for her birthday. No loud music. No alcohol-though she begged Ruby not to let there be any-no party. But no. Ruby wouldn't have it. It was her 18th. It would be the 'greatest night of her life'. Ren thought back on the night she had just had. It was amazing. She had felt more…alive…then she had for a while. That night, the night before, very well might have been Ren's greatest night of her life. However sad that was.

Ren's eyes trailed over to Tawny's tired ones. She wished that those moments never had to end. Maybe…maybe they didn't have to. Maybe Ren could ask her to her party. At least then there'd be another familiar face. But if she asked her…would she even go? The younger girl yawned once more, pulling her arms above her head and stretched, and Ren watched the way her muscles moved under the fabric of her shirt. Tawny was wearing yesterday's clothes and her stomach could be seen as the fabric of her black, long--sleeved shirt was pulled up for the morning stretch. The color on Tawny's stomach wasn't as pale as Ren thought it would be--not that she had thought about it much or anything…although the question did always catch her attention randomly from time to time-and although it was pale it did seem to fit Tawny. The color on her skin seemed to fit her. Something quite…shiny…caught the corner of Ren's eyes and she felt her eyes widen.

It was a bellybutton ring.

It wasn't anything fancy or elaborate…it was simple and silver. But it was perfect on Tawny. Ren had never expected something like that of her…but there it was. While it was unexpected…it did seem to fit her. Just like the color of her skin. The sun hit it directly, sending the shine into Ren's eyes and making another word spin around in her head when she found herself gaping at the ring. Sexy. The ring was totally and completely…_sexy_. Ren shook her head. She was thinking things. She was thinking things that she shouldn't be thinking….

But…what was she thinking? What, exactly, was she thinking? She was thinking that Tawny was sexy. Tawny Dean, with a belly ring, was the sexiest thing on the planet, at that exact moment in time, to Ren Stevens. Was it just that moment in time? Ren didn't know. She had no idea. Because all she could think about was that ring. And Tawny. She was thinking of Tawny. Tawny…and sexy. Tawny…ring…sexy. A girl…another girl…was the sexiest thing on the planet to Ren Stevens.

Wait, no…she wasn't gay. Girls didn't think other girls were extremely sexy if they were straight, did they? And…well...she couldn't be gay. There was no way in hell she was gay! Bobby…Gil…Jason…Sure, she wasn't exactly dating right now…but that didn't mean she was gay! She had been attracted to all of them…Right?

But it didn't even matter! Just because she said that Tawny looked sexy with a bellybutton ring…that didn't make her gay. You don't have to be gay in order to think another woman is attractive. It could just be a fact…a statement. Like the statement she was thinking now.

The statement that Tawny looked completely hot with a belly button ring. Well…not that she didn't look hot before. Oh, no, Tawny looked amazing before. Tawny definitely looked amazing before Ren knew that she had a bellybutton ring.

"Uh…Ren?" Tawny asked, one of her eyebrows raised, as she looked towards Ren's focus of sight. Ren immediately looked away and tried to find something to say. She had been staring. No…staring was_ not_ the word for it. She had practically been _drooling._ Ren's eyes got wider at the thought. She didn't drool…right? If she had, Tawny didn't seem to notice. Just for good measure Ren checked her mouth--passing it off as a yawn--to see if any drool had come out. Thank God…it hadn't. "Oh. Were you looking at this?" Tawny lifted the edge of her shirt to reveal the simple silver ring once more. Ren nodded. "I got it around last year, when I was 15, and my birthday was coming up." Ren moved closer to Tawny, stooping down slightly and looking more closely at the object.

"Why?" Ren asked and Tawny couldn't help but smirk. "Why did you get it?" Ren clarified. Tawny's smirk grew wider. Every single time Ren was curious about something…she put on this adorable little face. Her head tilted to the side and her eyes got kind of wide, though it wasn't an unflattering wide, and she always managed to remind Tawny of a puppy at dinner time, begging for something to eat. Tawny let her shirt fall down once more as she leaned back against the counter, not able to stand Ren's eyes on her anymore. The feeling wasn't as unnerving as…hypnotizing…and it frightened Tawny.

"Well…my friend Miles wanted something to-," Tawny stopped mid-sentence and gasped. "Miles!" Tawny jumped off of the counter, remembering the young man she had left at her house last night. She could see Ren's confused, still amazingly adorable, face cross Ren's features once more. Adorable? Ren Stevens…adorable? She never thought _adorable_ about anything…let alone_ anyone._ Tawny shook her head. She shouldn't associate adorable with Ren Stevens. Only bad would come from that one.

"Miles?"

"Yeah…he's…I left him at my house and I completely forgot!" Tawny looked over at Ren and sighed. She had to go. Both of them knew that things would likely never be like this again. Ren and Tawny rarely ever saw each other…maybe two minutes every week. "I didn't even call him. I should probably go."

"Yeah." Ren whispered, looking down at the floor. Her thoughts turned back to earlier. Should she ask her?

"It was really fun, Ren. I mean…I had a good time. It was nice to actually talk about something intellectual for once. Look my best friends…both of their IQ's add to less than their age." Ren chuckled and started walking Tawny to the door.

"It was a lot of fun." Ren sighed. She was being absurd. "Thank you again Tawny, for everything." They really didn't know each other all that well…although Ren had learned a lot about the younger girl in the past twelve hours then she ever cared to know about anyone else…but, still, Tawny would probably come to Ren's party if she asked. And, after the night before…well…Ren owed it to her, didn't she? She had helped her during a rough time…a time no one else had helped her through. It was a sign of friendship, to extend the offer.

"No problem, Ren. Seriously, if you ever need anything, don't be afraid to ask." Tawny smiled reassuringly at her and placed her hand gently on Ren's shoulder. It sent warmth throughout Ren's spine and she could feel her heart skip a beat. "I guess…I'll see you at school?" Was that regret in Tawny's eyes…or was that just her?

"Yeah. Yes. Of course. I'll see you at school." Ren smiled before Tawny opened the door and started walking out. Why couldn't she just ask her? It wasn't a big deal. It was just a party.

"Bye Ren."

"Tawny, wait." Ren grabbed Tawny's arm, making the younger girl turn and face her. Neither of them wanted it to end. The talking. The smiling. The feeling safe. The ice cream. But maybe that was the problem. Maybe that was why Ren was so hesitant in asking. _She didn't want it to end._ Ren enjoyed Tawny's company. She enjoyed spending time with her. She enjoyed talking about politics and artists and poets…she enjoyed all of it. She enjoyed Tawny. But there was something about it all…something about it all that was…_different._ It was totally and completely different and that scared Ren. Something was changing. She didn't know what…but something was changing.

And Ren Stevens didn't like change.

She liked timetables and schedules and charts…she liked organization. Nothing good ever came from change. Change always meant that her original plans never worked out ok. Change meant that something would be different. That everything would be different.

And Ren Stevens didn't like change.

But as Ren gazed into Tawny's blue, soul-gazing eyes…she found the words slip out of her mouth anyways. "Do you want to come to my party next Friday? It's for my birthday and all. Turning 18."

"Yeah. I heard about it. Apparently practically half of the school was invited." Ren winced. She knew Ruby would invite more than 100 of their 'closest friends'. "It's at 7 next Friday, right?" Ren nodded. "I'll be sure to come then. My present probably won't be amazing or anything…but you'll make due." Tawny smiled.

"I'm expecting a statue-made from the finest clay, mind you- of me…or a pastel portrait of my greatness, showing my academic achievements. That sort of thing. I'm sure it'll be great. You being the artist that you are." Ren smirked and leaned against the doorway.

"Well, you're in luck. I started sculpting last year, after your last birthday, just to get those eyes of yours right." Tawny looked into Ren's eyes and gave her a serious look, using her acting skills to her advantage. "Because, truth is, Ms. Stevens, those eyes seem to haunt me." The statement threw both of the girls off track, but Tawny kept her serious expression on her face to the best of her ability. She had just meant to say, 'because they're difficult to sculpt'. Or something like that. Well, hopefully not as lame as that…Tawny was always known for her wit. But with Ren, lately, things seemed to just start popping out of her mouth that she wouldn't normally say, either way. Tawny mentally shook herself, knowing that, on some level, the statement about Ren's eyes was true. But she would never, in a million years, let Ren know that. So she kept her expression serious and tried not to let Ren know.

Ren stood there, not knowing what to say. It felt like she was a stick of dynamite and a spark of fire just shot throughout her body, nearing towards the fuse. She wasn't sure if it was a good feeling…or a bad one. Was Tawny joking? She had such a serious look on her face…and her eyes…her eyes were holding something in them. Something Ren didn't know what to do with.

Did she want to do anything with it?

Did she want to do anything now?

What should she do?

What _could_ she do?

How the hell are you supposed to respond to something like that?!

_**Change. **_

Something was changing. And Ren didn't know what to make of it. What to think of it. Who to think of. All she knew was that something was changing…and fast. But, again, as she looked into Tawny's eyes…she didn't seem to mind it much.

The silence that stretched between them, however long it lasted, neither of them knew, almost seemed to suffocate them both.

Finally, Tawny smiled, showing Ren that she was only joking. Though Tawny wasn't exactly sure that she was. As much as she would have liked to stay and talk to Ren…she really had to go. Why did she have to leave again?

Oh. Yeah. Miles.

"I really have to go, Ren. I'll see you at school, right?" Ren nodded and smiled, waving as Tawny started walking down the driveway. Neither of them noticed her arm shaking.

"Alright. Bye, Tawny! Thanks for everything!" Ren closed the door and slid down it, burying her head in her arms, shaken to the core.

Something was definitely changing.

And Ren had no idea if she hated it…or if she loved it.

A picture of Tawny's face flashed through her mind, those blue eyes shining, and Ren found the words slip out of her mouth, although no one was there to hear them. "No…it's your eyes that haunt _me_." The words cracked like a whip throughout the silent, unoccupied house and Ren gasped at what she had just said. She hadn't meant to say it. But she had said it. Did she mean it?

Nothing in the house changed.

The house was still the same.

The world didn't shake.

The sky didn't fall.

Nothing in the house changed.

Ren saw Tawny's eyes again and looked out at the street, the younger girl long gone, and sighed.

Nothing changed.

Maybe…maybe Ren wanted it to.

oESoRoToESo

_(A/N: Sorry about the wait guys. My internet got taken away. And it still is away...but…yeah. Anyways. Another chapter! Thank you guys for reading! You rock my socks off! That's really the only reason why I'm not wearing socks right now. _

_Anyways. The Review Button is quiet tonight. Don't know why. It doesn't feel like strippin'…so give 'em a break, yeah?)_


	5. Chapter 5

Tawny rang the doorbell, her heart thumping in her chest as she looked at her watch. She was nearly an hour early. She knew that Ren's party had been pushed back until another week—Ruby apparently had a family emergency or something…Tawny just heard that it had been canceled—but she also knew that Ren would be going out to eat with her family in around two hours. Good. That would give her enough time. Her hand's grip tightened over the small package in her arms, carefully wrapped as not to reveal what was inside the box underneath. She had spent the whole entire week searching for the perfect gift and finally found it. She knew it was slightly odd…but she knew it was perfect. A perfect gift for Ren Stevens, that was.

Not only for the fact that she figured that Ren would like the gift…but she also wanted to see Ren's reaction to it. And she knew it would be the perfect reaction.

Tawny didn't know why…but she wanted to know what made Ren tick. She wanted to know what Ren thought about everything. Television…movies…plays…even gifts. She wanted to know what made Ren…_Ren_…and, well, she figured that this gift would definitely get a reaction out of the girl.

Tawny smirked. Yes. It would most _definitely_ get a reaction out of her.

It was weird, really. How much she had thought about Ren over the week. Sure…Tawny had always thought of Ren. But not much. Ren was her best friend's sister…her boyfriend-and later ex-boyfriend's-sister…she had seen Ren on numerous occasions. More than she could count. But she had never really known anything about the older girl until a week prior. And after spending nearly twelve hours with her, Tawny couldn't seem to get her out of her head.

They had barely seen each other over the week. There was a slight wave of recognition in the halls, but neither of them could stop and talk. Ren was busily talking about some anti-drug promotion thing while Tawny was rushing off to a play rehearsal. She was already ten minutes late and, well…Ren seemed extremely busy. So they just smiled at each other and continued on.

That was really all Tawny had seen of Ren all of that week.

And she didn't know why…but she missed her. She missed the girl she had spent those twelve hours of her life with. Tawny didn't know what…maybe…what was missing was…maybe…Ren….

The door suddenly opened to reveal a rather surprised Ren. And Tawny jumped slightly after hearing the noise. "T-Tawny?" Ren asked, her tone obviously confused, pulling a thankful Tawny away from her thoughts. She didn't know if she wanted to know where that thought process was leading, or not.

"Happy birthday, Ren!" Tawny smiled when she saw Ren's face. Her smile was wide and her eyes were shining. It was good to see her…happy. Although obviously confused.

"Tawny…what are you doing here? Not that I'm not glad to see you or anything…but you do know that the party is cancelled, right?" Ren asked, a hesitant smile on her face.

"Oh, I knew about your party being cancelled. Though I obviously didn't hear it from you." Tawny put on a pouting face. "Haven't seen you all week. Except a pretty lame exchange of waves in the hall." Tawny smirked and Ren laughed. "No. I just came by to give you your birthday present. Since it still is your birthday, even though the party has been pushed back to next week." Tawny's smirk grew into a large smile when she saw Ren's eyes light up at the word 'present'.

"You really shouldn't have. I mean…you really didn't even have to get me a gift in the first place." Ren smiled, now noticing the package in Tawny's arms.

"Well…actually…I kind of did. Especially since you ordered me to make you one in the first place." They both laughed. "Either way, I still had a question for you. Which I was really curious to ask…"

"Yeah?"

"What's it like to be legal?"

"Well. I haven't gotten any yet. So I'm not really sure." Ren pulled Tawny into the house, giving her a tight hug. It felt like too long. In reality…it was only a week. But, still. Tawny tensed slightly at Ren's touch but felt her body relax in the older girl's arms. It was weird. She wasn't much of a hug person…but with Ren…it felt natural.

"Well. That could be arranged." Tawny winked at Ren and continued through the Steven's household, leaving Ren gaping at the door. Tawny's heart was raging. Did she really just say that? She hadn't meant to. Damn it. With Ren…things seemed to just…slip out of her mouth. Tawny looked back at the older girl and could have sworn that she saw a blush creeping up her neck before Ren laughed.

"Well, thanks Tawny. I'll be sure to keep that in mind." Ren winked back, trying to play along with Tawny, all the while trying to still her heart. At those words…something set off in her. It was an odd feeling. It wasn't really anything Ren had felt anymore…but it seemed to set her insides on fire. Her mouth was dry, her heart was racing, and her insides were on fire? Somewhere deep down in Ren's mind she had to wonder if feelings like that were good for her…but as her eyes trailed over to Tawny's eyes, she felt the fire inside of her burn brighter.

She wasn't sure if it was good _for_ her…but it definitely _felt_ good.

Ren shook her head and leaned against the kitchen's island, while Tawny sat down on one of the stools. She noticed a small box, dressed carefully in blue wrapping paper, golden words displaying, "Happy birthday" across the rectangle package. It must have been her birthday present…although it didn't take much deductive reasoning for Ren to figure that one out. Ren focused on the gift wrapped carefully in Tawny's arms. She noticed the way Tawny delicately held onto it, almost like it was something of great value to her. Her fingers wrapped around the box and Ren found herself tracing the curves of Tawny's hand in her head. Ren shook her head again. What the hell was wrong with her? "So is that my carefully crafted masterpiece?"

"It is, Ms. Stevens." Tawny laughed at the memory of their earlier conversation. "It's not as spectacular of a sculpture as you were hoping for…but I bet you'll like it." Tawny smirked and looked down at the present. "Actually…I was wondering if I could give it to you now? Before you have to leave and all." Ren nodded and smiled, stepping forward and taking the present out of Tawny's hands. The wrapping paper felt smooth against Ren's hands and it was warm from being held in Tawny's grip for so long.

"Did you really wrap this?" Ren asked, amazed about the amount of detail that Tawny seemed to put into the wrapping. Tawny nodded. It was a perfectionist's dream. Tawny couldn't help but smile at the look in Ren's eyes. She had spent nearly an hour trying to wrap the damn thing, just to make it perfect enough for Ren. She knew how much Ren liked small details like that. In fact, Ren had told Tawny that herself the week before. And, she figured, since it was her birthday-and Tawny knew that a rather large birthday bash wasn't in Ren's original plans-someone mine as well put in the effort for her. For some reason, Ren didn't feel safe opening Tawny's gift in the middle of the kitchen, where Louis-wherever he was at the moment-could burst in. She didn't know why…she just didn't want him to see it before she did. Ren wanted to peel back the wrapping paper and be the first one to see it, with her very own eyes. No one else's eyes. Just hers. And Tawny's, of course, but Ren was fairly sure that Tawny had already seen what was in the package. So Ren started towards the stairs motioning for Tawny to follow, which the younger girl did.

Ren also wanted to thank Tawny, once more, for the week before. And she couldn't do that where Louis could just burst into the middle of the conversation. Louis didn't really know about her breakdown…and she preferred to keep it that way. She had felt considerably better during the last week, after spending much needed time eating ice cream with Tawny. Her burdens seemed slightly lighter. Her smile seemed a little more real. But, still, Ren felt like something was missing. And she knew what it was. It was Tawny. She wanted to tell someone how she was feeling…how wonderfully, after such a long time of not feeling so wonderfully, she was feeling…but the first person who she wanted to tell wasn't Ruby…it wasn't Nelson. It wasn't anyone who she thought it _should_ be. Ren wanted to tell Tawny.

And it scared her to death.

She didn't know why she wanted to tell Tawny. And she didn't know why it scared her as much that she did. They had started a relationship…a friendship…and Tawny had helped her so much in a moment of weakness. There was no telling what Ren would have done if Tawny hadn't been there for her. She knew that she wouldn't do anything drastic…well…hopefully. Hopefully she wouldn't do anything drastic. Ren pulled open her door and closed it behind Tawny, both of them sitting down on her bed.

So there was no reason why she shouldn't want to tell the younger girl. She was the only person that knew. She was the only person she could tell. But, in the end, it didn't really matter. She didn't have a chance to tell Tawny, anyways. They had both been so busy over the week. The most Ren had seen of her was when they passed each other in the hall…and there were no words…only a smile.

Ren shook her head. She was thinking too much. It was her birthday. She had the right not to think! "So are you going to open it up?" Tawny's voice startled Ren and the older girl nodded, a small smile crossing her lips, and gently started to peel back the paper.

Ren sighed. "It's almost a shame to have to ruin the paper…" Ren had the most serious look on her face, making Tawny laugh. She looked over at Tawny with a confused look on her face. Tawny laughed harder.

"It's really ok, Ren. You can rip it in half for all I care." Tawny chuckled as Ren tried to slowly pull the paper off, keeping it perfectly neat. Ren looked offended that she would even do something like that to such a perfectly wrapped present.

"But…you worked so hard on the wrapping and-"

"Seriously, Ren. Just go for it." Ren sighed and grabbed a handful of the paper in her hands, tearing it off. Ren winced when she heard the ripping noise. She glared at Tawny who was laughing heartily. "I don't think I've seen anyone so hesitant to open a birthday present before!" Tawny smirked when Ren threw a pillow at her. "Come on, already! Open it!"

Ren sighed and ripped through the rest of the paper, the initial shock of the paper's beauty being torn by her hasty actions worn off, and looked up at Tawny when she found a cardboard box. "Go on. Open it. The suspense is starting to kill _me_ and I already know what it is!" Ren smirked and opened the box, her eyes going wide when she saw what was inside.

Tawny found her smile growing wider. How would she react? Surprise was definitely put down into Tawny's book. Obviously, Ren wasn't suspecting what was in the box. "I love it!" Ren's voice seemed slightly conflicted. "Is this a…crystal…penguin?" Ren asked, her eyebrows furrowed and Tawny nodded, trying not to laugh. She knew it was slightly odd, to use a gift to get to know Ren…but it was extremely effective so far.

So far…for an unexpected gift…Ren was being extremely nice.

"Seriously…a crystal penguin?" Ren asked again, trying to clarify. It was almost like if she asked and Tawny said that it was something else, the penguin would no longer be in the box.

"Yeah. When I saw it…I don't know…it reminded me of you." Tawny whispered, knowing that, funnily enough, it was true. Tawny had spent the whole week looking for something for Ren…and she saw the penguin in one of the small stores in town. Tawny didn't know why it reminded her of Ren…but the penguin honestly did. There was something about it…something that just seemed to click when she saw it. She knew that Ren probably wouldn't immediately love it…but Tawny figured that she'd warm up to it and, hopefully, grow to love it.

Ren's eyes went wide at Tawny's comment as she picked the object up out of the box and held it in her hands, examining it. "I remind you of a penguin…?" Ren's voice trailed off as she scrutinized the creation in her mind. It was a delicate…and it was obviously made out of crystal…and the way it sparkled and shined as she moved it in the sunlight did make Ren smile. The coloring was interesting, as the crystal was either transparent from the parts that needed it or shining from the different colors of gems that combined to make the penguin's coat. It wasn't very large…it was about large enough to fit in Ren's palm, and the crystals shone out through the coloring. The penguins' eyes were made from sapphires and they shone a deep blue color. Ren felt her heart lift when she saw the color shine in her eyes. She watched them sparkle as she felt herself get lost in those eyes. The sapphires reminded her of Tawny's eyes. It was obviously expensive. While Ren found herself lost as to why a penguin reminded Tawny of her—she was also slightly offended at the thought, but figured, being Tawny, it was a strange reason in the first place—she found herself loving the penguin itself.

It was strange. She never figured that she would ever love a gift like that…never in a million years did Ren Stevens think that she would love to get a crystal penguin as a present…yet here she was, not able to tear her eyes away from the sapphires and crystals.

It was beautiful.

"This is…beautiful, Tawny." Ren gasped, and she turned to face the younger girl, who had a wide smile on her face. "This must have cost a fortune…I mean…its gorgeous…but…I can't…I can't accept this. It's too expensive, Tawny. You really shouldn't waste your money on me." Ren whispered. Tawny just shook her head.

"I'm not going to lie. It wasn't cheap. But you deserve it. And the money I spent is worth it to see you smile." Tawny nearly winced. Damn it. What was it about Ren that made her spew practically every single one of her thoughts out into the open? Tawny mentally slapped herself. Either way…she already said what she was thinking. She should at least say the rest of it. "You're worth it." Tawny placed a gentle hand on Ren's shoulder and she could feel Ren relax against her touch.

"No I'm not." Ren sighed and shook her head. "I'm not worth it." Ren stared back into the sapphire eyes of the penguin before looking back up into Tawny's soul-gazing eyes. "I'm not worth it." Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Ren…of course you're worth it…you're worth it to-,"

"Ren!" Mrs. Steven's voice echoed through the halls as they heard the Steven family's footsteps shuffling downstairs, alerting them of their presence and cutting off Tawny. They sat there staring at each other for a moment before Mrs. Steven's voice shouted once more, "Come on, Ren! I know it's your birthday, Sweetie, but we've really got to go soon!"

"I should probably get down there. I mean…it's my birthday, and all. I have to go down there and be the object of attention." Ren stood and tried to smile but knew Tawny saw right through it.

"Yeah." Tawny whispered, standing up next to Ren. "I should probably get going, too." She hugged Ren tightly. "Happy birthday Ren." They shared a small smile before Ren gently placed the crystal penguin on her desk dresser before leaving the room and heading down the stairs, trying to wipe away the tears that had started to form in her eyes as Tawny collapsed onto the bed behind her, looking at the ceiling.

"You're worth it to me." Tawny whispered hoarsely to the empty room, finishing what she was so close to saying moments earlier. The realization of the words hit Tawny like a sack of bricks and she shut her eyes, trying to push everything away. There was nothing there. There was nothing there to even think about. There was nothing there to even push away.

Tawny was _not_ falling for Ren Stevens.

She wasn't gay. She was _not_ gay. She was just…she was just worried about Ren, that was all.

Yes. That was it. That was all.

Ren had really been scaring her, lately. And, as any human being would be in her situation, she was worried about Ren.

She was just worried about Ren.

Tawny kept chanting that to herself, but it had no effect. She knew it. And she knew she knew it. But that didn't mean she would accept it. No. Tawny could most definitely ignore it. But…she shouldn't. And Tawny knew that she shouldn't. She had never been one to run away from feelings…in fact…she always confronted them. But what now? What could she possibly do about it, now? Tawny groaned and rolled over onto her stomach, stuffing her face into Ren's pillow.

"Tawny?" A confused voice came from the hall outside of Ren's room and Tawny turned around to see Louis standing there, a small smirk on his face. He was actually wearing a suit and Tawny tried her hardest not to laugh. Instead, she just smiled up at him. There was no reason that Tawny could remember for why Louis would be in a suit. He hated wearing them. And where they were going for Ren's birthday dinner was just up the street at a local pizza parlor…nowhere fancy, as Ren had clearly stated to her family that she just wanted something simple. "What are you doing in Ren's room?" Tawny sighed and stood up, walking towards Louis.

"What are you doing in a monkey suit?" Tawny chuckled and Louis glared at her.

"I asked you first."

"I was giving her her birthday present. She just left."

"Wait…wait…you were giving Ren her birthday present on her…bed?" Louis smirked and wrapped his arm around Tawny's shoulders as they started heading down the stairs. "That's hot. Wish you would have done that for my birthday." He laughed and she jokingly punched him in the ribs, though she wasn't able to cover the smile that came to her lips.

"So, really, Louis, why are you in a suit? I've only really seen you in a suit on, like, two occasions." Louis stopped on one of the middle steps and Tawny stopped with him.

"Okay…promise not to tell Ren if I tell you?" Louis actually looked pretty nervous about it. What was he going to do? Was it a prank? Tawny rolled her eyes.

"Why would I tell Ren why you were in a suit? Either way, she's about to see you in a suit in around 2 minutes when we finally finish going down these stairs, so you're not really going to be able to hide it." Tawny stated the fact, knowing that, being Louis, he probably wouldn't have thought of that.

"Well…alright…I'm actually doing something nice for Ren this year." Louis shuffled his feet slightly and looked up to see Tawny staring at him with wide eyes.

"Wow. That's a first…except that time you got her that necklace. And, well, you kind of resorted to pretty much turning your sister-who was the person you gave it to anyways-into a prostitute to get it." Louis rolled his eyes.

"It wasn't _prostitution!_"

"Whatever it was, it was still wrong. You shouldn't objectify women, Louis! We have minds! We have thoughts and hearts and…what you did was just wrong! Especially to do something like that to your family! Exposing your poor sister to--," Louis put his hand over Tawny's mouth, hoping to silence the rant he knew he was going to face if he let her talk for a couple more seconds.

"Save the speech, Tawn'. Come on. Do you want to hear why I'm in the monkey suit, or not?" Louis moved his hand away from her mouth when she nodded eagerly. "Alright. Well-,"

"Louis? Are you down here? Come on! We've got to go!" They both heard Ren's voice echo from down the hall.

"Well…y'know what? You'll see!" Louis grabbed Tawny's hand and led her into the kitchen, bursting through his family to stand in front of Ren, who stopped during the middle of her conversation to gape at her younger brother.

"Uh…Louis?" Ren questioned, motioning towards Louis' choice of attire. "What's with the suit?" Louis just ignored her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, leading her out from the kitchen to the living room.

"Tonight, Sis, is a night that I want you to remember." Louis started, a boyish smile on his face. Ren instantly shuddered when he called her 'sis'.

"Ok. What do you want?"

"Nothing. I'm simply just going to make this a special night for you-"

"You're about to pull the prank, aren't you?"

"No! Would you at least let me tell you _what_ I'm doing in the monkey suit, oh birthday queen, before you go asking me all these questions?!" Louis snapped and glared at her. Ren raised her hands up in defense and backed down.

"Ok. Ok. Then tell me what you're planning on doing, in a monkey suit, to make my night so memorable, Louis."

"I," Louis emphasized, pointing at himself with pride, "Have gone through all of the trouble of tracking down someone who was extremely important to you, Ren Stevens. And figured that, on your 18th birthday, this surprise would be the greatest present a brother could ever give his sister! And they are waiting, anxiously, outside to see you, Ren." Ren just raised her eyebrow, not sure what the hell Louis was talking about.

"And who would this be?" Ren asked, expecting her grandmother to walk through the door or something.

"You'll just have to go and see for yourself!" Louis beamed with pride, obviously very pleased with whoever it was outside the door. Ren first looked over at her parents--both of them had large smiles on their faces…they were obviously in on it—who motioned for her to go see who it was and then she found her eyes meet Tawny's. Tawny shrugged and mouthed, 'I don't know' before Ren looked back at Louis. He was extremely excited. Louis kind of reminded Ren of a puppy that really had to use the bathroom. It was sort of cute…but very discomforting at the same time, since you knew what they were about to do next wouldn't be so…cute. After all…Louis' track records had not been all that sweet.

Why should Ren expect her 'present' to be all that great?

Why would Louis actually do something _nice_ for her for once?

"Come on, Ren! He won't wait outside for forever!" Louis was still beaming. Ren froze and Tawny both froze at Louis' statement.

"He?" They both asked at the same time. Louis nodded. Ren gulped and made her way towards the door, looking back at her family before opening it. The whole family nodded anxiously…but Ren couldn't help but notice Tawny's distraught look before she flung open the door and gasped.

"Jason?!"


	6. Chapter 6

Ren Stevens stood there, her heart pounding and her body shaking. Jason…her ex-boyfriend Jason…was standing right in front of her. Two years had passed since she had last seen him. Two years. She turned back towards her family, who were beaming at her. Tawny was standing there, looking just as shocked as she was, gaping. She looked almost…jealous. No. Ren shook the thought from her mind. Why would Tawny be jealous? Then again…why would Ren _want_ Tawny to be jealous? Ren looked back at Jason, forcing a smile. They hadn't exactly left things in good heart between them.

"Jason…" Ren looked back towards Louis. He looked so proud of himself…and he really did think that he was doing something good. Little did Louis know that he very well might have hurt Ren more than he did anything right. Then again…Louis always seemed to do that. But he meant well. "It's been…two years."

"Yeah. But…well…I got you these." Jason stretched his hand out to reveal a dozen red roses. Ren smiled and took them. They weren't her favorite flower…Jason never could remember her favorite flower…but it was the thought that counted, right? "I…I wanted to…" Jason pulled Ren closer and whispered the next words in her ear, not wanting the Steven's family to hear, "I want to apologize. I want to make things right, Ren. I didn't…I…I'm sorry." Ren looked into the blonde's eyes and took in a deep breath. He never was one to beat around the bush. "Louis called me on the phone…and we got to talking…and he obviously doesn't know about what happened between us…but…I…he said…he said that you missed me." Ren winced. Of course Louis would say that. He didn't know any better. "And I…I have to tell you the truth, Ren. I missed you. I really did. And I want to make things right." Ren looked back at her family once more. They were inside the house so they couldn't really hear what Jason was saying. But Ren figured that they were expecting Ren and Jason to magically get back together, since he must have come a long way just to see her. And, obviously, a hot shot like Jason would never fly miles just to see an ex-girlfriend. He must have been expecting to get back with Ren. Sadly enough…Ren knew that that was true. "Will you…will you please give me another chance?" Jason asked, placing a gentle kiss on her cheek before he stepped back. Ren's heart almost jumped into her throat. What could she do? Could she say no? Could she really say no with her whole entire family behind her, all of them pushing her towards saying yes? But…could she say yes? Could she put herself back through all of that torture? Her relationship with Jason was hell. Ren looked back towards Tawny, whose blue eyes were shining with an emotion Ren couldn't seem to place.

What would Tawny say, if she knew what happened between them? Would she want Ren to go for it? Or would she slap Jason and tell him to go to hell? Ren almost smirked at the thought. Would Tawny care enough to slap a now-famous movie star, for her? Ren liked to think that she did.

In a friendly way, of course.

"Jason…" Ren looked into the blonde's eyes once more before looking back at her family. "You…you know you hurt me."

"I know. And I wish I never had. I wish I could take everything back. I'm sorry, Ren." He took her hands in his and looked into her eyes. He wasn't lying. "I've changed." Ren shook her head and took her hands away.

"Jason…" She lowered her voice to a whisper. "I know you're only here because you feel obligated to be here. You haven't changed."

"That's not true-"

"I know it is, Jason. You should go back to your _wife_," Ren couldn't keep the venom out of her voice when she said the word. She knew she wasn't being fair to the statement, but what was done was done.

"Ex-wife." Jason interjected, glaring at Ren.

"But, before you leave, I think it would be a good idea to set things straight between us. But only as friends." Ren gulped to keep the bile in her throat from rising. Jason sighed and nodded.

"You're right. We…we're over. I should have known that. I mean…it's my fault, after all." Jason whispered, running a hand through his dirty blonde hair.

"Come…to…dinner…with us." Ren closed her eyes and forced out.

"Really?"

"Yeah. We'll have a…good…time. It's my birthday, after all." She tried to put cheer into her voice, but it turned out sounding like a deflated balloon.

"Alright. And we'll be…friends."

"Right." Ren turned back towards her family for the third time that evening and forced a smile. "Would it be ok if Jason came with us to dinner?" Eileen Stevens stepped up and nodded anxiously, obviously thinking that the two were back together.

"Of course!" Steve Stevens shouted, running up to Jason and patting him on the back. Louis smirked and came up to his sister with his trademark grin. He still looked proud of himself.

"See? Best present ever, or what?" Louis laughed and Ren simply ignored the comment.

"Where did Tawny go?" Ren asked, noticing the younger girl's absence from the group.

"Oh. She said she had to go. And she wanted me to wish you a happy birthday, once more, and congratulations." Louis shrugged as they all started getting in the car to head towards the pizza place. Steve got in the driver's seat as Eileen claimed the maternal shotgun, Louis climbing in the very back to allow Ren and Jason to sit next to each other.

"Oh." Ren whispered, climbing in next to Jason. Suddenly, Ren felt her body turn cold as Jason moved his arm around her.

"We're so happy that you two are back together." Eileen practically sang as the car started.

"We're not-"

"It's good to be back, Eileen." Jason cut Ren off, a happy smile on his face. Ren shook her head and looked out the window. She knew Jason would never change. Ren felt her stomach drop as she took in another deep breath, her throat dry and her head heavy. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath.

Why did Tawny have to leave?

"Jason is back." Tawny groaned as she fell onto the couch, an extremely painful headache taking over her brain. Miles coughed, making the milk he was drinking go everywhere. He was standing in his boxers, drinking milk from the fridge, when Tawny skulked in and dropped on the couch.

"W-What?" Miles coughed, trying to get the milk out from his nose.

"Jason. Ren's ex-boyfriend. The million-dollar pretty boy from Hawaii." Tawny rolled over and looked at Miles. Sarcasm and distaste were obviously ruling over her voice. "Y'know…the one who humiliated her on live TV in front of billions of people? That Jason."

"Oh yeah. I remember him." Miles grabbed a washcloth and began wiping the milk off of his shirt. "So what?"

"I just…I just don't know if _Jason_," Tawny couldn't help the venom that seeped into his name when she said it, "is the best thing for her right now."

"Well…you said that Ren's been having a rough patch the last while, right?" Miles sat down next to Tawny on the couch and placed his hand on her knee. "Maybe a relationship would be good for her right now. Someone to keep her grounded, y'know?"

"Yeah. A relationship might be good for her. But not one with _this guy."_ Tawny stood up and started pacing. "I've read about him and seen him on TV and stuff. He's bad news. He's already been divorced! And he's only 20! The marriage only lasted, like, two months! And he has a freaking _kid_ somewhere! Not to mention the fact that he's a horrible actor!" Tawny sighed in frustration and sat down next to Miles again. "He can't be good for her! He isn't even good to himself! How could he be good to her?!"

"Tawny…" Miles shook his head at the younger girl. "I think you might be…jealous." Tawny whipped her head around and glared at him.

"Jealous?! Of what?! A pretty boy with no brain?! Oh no! I'm not jealous! I'm just slightly protective of Ren…that's all."

"You've only been friends with her for, really, a week. I mean…come on." Miles smirked. "And you're ripping down a famous actor that, really, anyone would be lucky to meet."

"Honestly. The guy seems like a jerk to me. A complete ass! And, really, we shouldn't worship actors like they're some kind of God!" Tawny seemed exceedingly annoyed at her best friends' behavior.

"Ok. Ok. So you've seen the guy for, like, what? Two seconds? And you hate him?"

"He was a jerk!"

"What did he do?"

"He…" Tawny searched for something, anything, against the blonde boy that she recently grew a very strong dislike for. "He…brought her flowers!"

"Oh. Yes. I see where you're going with this. That's a horrible thing to do! You're right! This guy's a real ass!"

"No! No! They were the _wrong _flower! He brought her roses! Ren's favorite flowers are lilies! The guy dated her for years and he didn't even get her favorite flower right!" Tawny grimaced. Miles smirked. He knew what was happening.

"Tawny…" He put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "You're jealous."

"I…I am not!" Tawny looked like a five year old who was having a temper tantrum.

"Yes. You are."

"I am not! I'm not…" Tawny groaned and shoved her face in her hands. "Jealous! I'm jealous! I'm jealous of the big blonde ape with no brain!" Miles laughed and pulled Tawny into his arms.

"You're falling for her aren't you?" Miles whispered after a couple of moments of silence, knowing his best friend too well to not figure out what was happening. He had always figured Tawny could swing both ways. In fact, he knew she could from some of the parties they had been to. She always looked like she had a good time when she was dancing with the girls. He didn't really care, either way. She was still the same person. And she would always be his Tawny. Tawny groaned and nodded into Miles chest.

"Shit…I…I think I am." Tawny groaned again and rolled over, laying her head on Miles legs. "What do I do, Mi? I can't…I can't help it. I think…I know I am…I know I'm falling for her. But I just…I don't know what to do. She'd freak out if she knew. And she's like one of my best friends now. I don't…" She shoved her head into Miles legs, not even noticing the fact that he was only in his boxers. "I don't know what to do."

"Well…you could always tell her how you feel." Miles suggested. Tawny looked up and gave him an incredulous look. "Or…you could always just see what happens. Let fate play its course. If you're meant to be together…you'll end up together." Tawny sighed and rolled over, looking up into Miles' face. "And with a girl like you…gorgeous…smart…amazing at pretty much anything you do…I mean…you sing like an angel and are the best actress I know! I can't see her not falling in love with you." Miles smiled and brushed a lock of hair behind Tawny's ear. "It's almost impossible not to, really." Tawny laughed.

"_You_ didn't fall in love with me!"

"That's because I'm an exception to the rule. Besides, I've slept in the same bed with you. You snore." Miles smirked and Tawny scoffed.

"I _do not!_" Tawny smacked him upside the head.

"Sorry to break it to you babe, but you do." Miles jumped off the couch to dodge Tawny's attack.

"Oh I am so gonna kick your ass, pretty boy!" Tawny tried to put on her most serious face.

"Bring it on!" Miles tackled her and started tickling her, both of them laughing. After a minute of no breath, Tawny finally managed to knee Miles right between the legs.

"Oh God!" He groaned, rolling over, holding his manhood. Tawny stood up triumphantly. "Dear merciful lord in heaven…" He moaned, writhing on the floor in pain Tawny simply laughed.

"I do _not_ snore!"

"Yes you do, you foghorn!" Miles bravely grunted, only to get another swift jab in between the legs.

"Men…you just never learn the first time. Maybe that's why I ended up falling for a girl…seems to me that girls have a lot more common sense then boys." Tawny smirked and Miles pulled her down next to him, starting to tickle her again. Both of them laughed happily, Tawny's annoyance with Jason and her recent fondness for a certain Ren Stevens seemingly forgotten for a couple of minutes of laughter with a close friend.

After a couple of minutes of them both panting, smiles on both of their faces, Miles stood up and reached his hand down to Tawny. "Come on."

"What?" Tawny panted, breathless.

"Come on. I'm getting you out of here." Miles shook his hand, motioning for Tawny to take it, and he pulled her up. "We're going to go out and you're going to have a good time and forget, tonight, about that Ren Stevens gal." Miles walked into the other room and pulled a pair of his jeans out of the dryer, pulling them over his legs. "You can be a love struck puppy tomorrow. Tonight, you're going to be the Tawny Dean I know. We'll party or something. I don't know!" Miles smirked as he changed the shirt he was currently wearing to one that didn't have milk on it.

"Miles…I don't know."

"Come on! Let's just go to the local pizza place, maybe. Just get out of the house. And we'll have a good time. Just you and me! Like old times! Come on, babe!" Miles pulled his trademark smirk, which was known to be able to melt any girl to the core—Tawny was immune—and Tawny laughed.

"Alright. Alright. But only if you get me as drunk as you possibly can!" Tawny laughed as Miles grabbed the keys to the house and wrapped Tawny's coat around her shoulders.

"Promise!" Miles and Tawny both laughed.

"Miles…" Tawny whispered, a small smile on her lips.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks." She placed a gentle kiss on his cheek and they both head out the door, neither of them having any idea what they were about to get themselves into.

"Anytime, Tawny." He whispered. It was a cold night, and a storm was about to head in, and rain was about to brace the streets, but neither of them really noticed. "Anytime."


	7. Chapter 7

"Let's get the large special, to celebrate!" Steve Stevens laughed as he handed the waiter their menu back. Ren wasn't sure if they were celebrating her birthday…or the somewhat forced relationship that was put in front of her. They hadn't sat down in the seat for five minutes before Jason started flirting with her, practically flaunting the fact that she was 'his'. If another guy even looked at her—that included their waiter--he gave them the coldest glare that she had even seen. Everyone thought it was cute.

They ignored the fact that around fifteen girls had already come up to the famous actor, asking for his autograph. Some of them asked for the autograph in very odd places, too. And he granted _all_ of their requests and batted his little pretty boy eye lashes at them all.

She nearly threw up.

He disgusted her, it was true. The very sight of him made her want to throw herself out of the window. Any window. She'd throw herself off of the small ledge with railing at the pizza parlor they were currently occupying, if her family wouldn't give her odd looks and Louis would never let her live it down. And here was her family, laughing and smiling, listening to all of Jason's Hollywood stories, grand smiles on their faces, ignoring their only daughter's 18th birthday in favor for her ex-boyfriend—which, she was sure, they were completely oblivious to the fact of who Jason really was…what kind of a monster he was. They had no idea why they had broken up, in the first place. They had all assumed it was all Ren's fault…or some insignificant detail. After all, the two were 'inseparable'.

Ren closed her eyes tight when Jason wrapped an arm around her shoulders, laughing about some random story he was telling—apparently, he spilt coffee on Bruce Willis. Ren rolled her eyes. Klutz. Ren took a deep breath, the feeling clutching at her gut growing stronger. She didn't want to be here. Again, she felt her mind ask, Why did Tawny have to leave? She was sure the younger girl would be able to give her some advice as to what she should do. What she should feel.

"I read that you're the hottest star in Hollywood right now, isn't that right, Jason?" Eileen Stevens asked, a large smile on her face. Ren tried to smile back and engage in the conversation. She tried to be 'friends' with Jason…but she just couldn't. He wasn't making it easy. He was practically claiming her. She wasn't sure how much she could take. God…why couldn't her birthday just be simple, like she asked?

"Ah…I don't know. I guess that'd have to be for the girls to decide." Jason still had that smirk on his face. "Isn't that right, Ren?" Jason winked at Ren. She shrugged his arm, which was trying to pull her closer to him, off.

"Yeah. I guess." Ren replied dully. God…when would this dinner be over?

"Ren…honestly. I know it's your birthday, but you don't have to act like an ice queen." Eileen stated, shooting a look at her daughter. Ren spun her head around in her mother's direction, hurt by her comment. "Jason is a guest and you should act like he is one." Ren just took in a deep breath, trying to keep her composure. She had kept it for the whole night, and almost for the past year—except with Tawny…she had let her guard down just that once…but, something was telling her that that was acceptable. Breaking down in front of her parents? She couldn't do that—and she wasn't about to lose it. Maybe it would be ok. Maybe she could just take the comment.

"Yeah, babe. Can't we just have a little fun? I mean…we haven't seen each other in years." Jason draped his arms around her shoulders once more. Ren bolted up from the booth and bushed him out of it, ignoring the gasps and yells of "Ren! Show some manners!" from her parents and the laughing coming from Louis. She even ignored the cries of all of the teenage girls that were near to tears just from seeing the famous actor being touched forcefully in any way.

That was the last straw. She was not his 'babe'. She ground her teeth and looked up into his smirking eyes, a deadly fire in them. She knew that fire. If he thought he was going to win…he was wrong.

"I'm leaving." She glared at the man in front of her. The smirk grew to an angry scowl. Oh, she was sure that she knew what was coming next. She looked back at her parents, not able to hide the rage in her voice. "Thank you for the dinner." Ren proceeded to storm out of the restaurant.

"But Ren-," Steve Stevens yelled after his daughter as Jason ran out the door, following her, "the pizza hasn't even come yet!"

oESoRoToESo

Tawny and Miles stumbled down the street, both of them laughing jovially. They were on their way to the pizza parlor that was across town. They weren't actually planning on having any alcohol tonight but, from the way they were acting, most people that passed them thought they were drunk out of their minds. They were both laughing and dancing and just being…happy. It was nice. It was actually a slightly cold night, and if it wasn't Sacramento, they were sure it would have snowed.

"So I think I got a job!" Miles said out of the blue, trying to hide his smile. Tawny looked at him in shock. "A full-time, well-paying…creditable…job!"

"No way!" Tawny gasped, a smile slowly creeping up on her face.

"Yup. I'd have to wear a suit and everything." Miles tried his hardest to sound put out and annoyed…but he couldn't help but smile when Tawny shrieked and jumped up into his arms. Miles laughed heartily and swung her around, both of them sporting large grins. Most people that knew Tawny would gasp if they saw her showing such an outward display of affection. But that was how it was with them. They were just crazy with one another.

Although, now not only did the people watching them think they were drunk, they thought that the two were going to fall down to the ground and instantly start going at it like rabbits.

"Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner, Miles?!" Tawny fake-pouted, punching him in the arm. He laughed and rubbed his arm.

"Well…you wouldn't shut up about your undying love for another female." He winked at her, earning him another jab in the arm. "Ow. You know…I might get a bruise there." Tawny shrugged.

"You deserved it. So where are you going to work at?"

"Well…you know Jimmy, right? You know how Bill hooked him up at that job at the bank?" Miles started and Tawny nodded. "Well…turns out…he managed to hook me up. I'll be doing some work as a teller…doing some accounting stuff…it'll be great. I've got to go get a suit and everything…but it pays 10 bucks an hour." Miles looked extremely proud of himself, and Tawny had to admit that she _was_ pretty proud of him. It wasn't just Bill that got him the job. "I did an interview yesterday and I'm in! I mean…I have another interview tomorrow…but the guy who interviewed me yesterday said that I was a shoe-in for the job!" Tawny hugged him again.

"This is great!"

"Yeah…well…there's only one problem." Miles sighed, his face falling slightly.

"What? What is it?"

"I kind of…need a place to stay. I mean…I can't just keep moving around from house to house. With this job…I know I could start saving a lot of money. And I might finally make something of myself. Maybe even be able to go back to college, y'know?" Miles sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I just…I need to find a place to stay for a while."

"Miles…" Tawny whispered, taking in a deep breath. "You know you're always welcome to stay at my house."

"Yeah…I know…but I've already overstayed my welcome-"

"What part of 'always welcome' didn't you get?" Tawny laughed. "You're _always_ welcome. That means that you couldn't possibly overstay your welcome!" Miles smiled but shook his head.

"No…I can't. I mean…what about your parents-?"

"They love you! In fact, you know what?" Tawny looked Miles straight in the eye. "You're staying with me. You have no choice in the matter. I'm forcing you to stay with me." Miles laughed but then noticed the look in Tawny's eyes. He'd seen that look before. It was the look of sheer determination.

"Are you sure?"

"What did I say? You have no choice. You're staying with me." Tawny smirked as Miles started to jump around again.

"Thank you so much, T! You won't regret it! I'll clean and everything! I'll make sure I'm useful this time!" Miles grabbed her and started dancing, making Tawny laugh uncontrollably.

"Yeah…right…I've heard that one before. You're such a pig! You won't clean up a damn thing!" She laughed as they started strolling towards the pizza place once more, arm in arm. Yes…they definitely had a reason to celebrate!

Their celebration was slightly dampened, however, as Tawny felt Miles grip tighten on her arm as he pointed in the direction of a dark alley to their right. Tawny gasped as she saw a familiar girl fall down into the street, her whole entire body deflated, her breath raging and scattered, tears streaming down her face, horror covering all of her features. A man steadily approached on her and, without even thinking about it, both Tawny and Miles ran towards the girl's direction, Tawny's voice shouting into the dead night, "Ren!"

oESoRoToESo

"I'm so sorry, Ren! I don't know what came over me in there! I was such an ass!" Jason panted as he finally caught up with her in the alley around a block away from the pizza parlor. "Ren!" He shouted…she wouldn't turn around. "Ren!" He growled, grabbing her arm and pulling her around to face him. She glared at him.

"Let go of me."

"No! Listen to me, damn it!"

"Jason…you're hurting me! Let go!" Ren tried to pry his fingers away, his grip tight on her arm. Jason gasped and let go, running a shaky hand through his hair.

"I'm…I'm so sorry…I don't…you know that I don't mean to…I'm a changed man, Ren!" He pleaded as she started walking away, once more.

"Don't you dare lie to me, Jason." Ren growled, sharply turning around to face him. "You are not, and you never will be, a _changed man_. You're forgetting that I actually know you! Don't try and pull this acting shit on me! Don't try to pretend! I'm not one of your drooling fans!"

"I'm…I'm not lying. I've…I've changed. I'm a changed man." He took her face in his hands, forcing her to stare him in the eyes. "I'm a changed man. And I…I spent these past two years thinking about you, Ren. Everyday. I couldn't get you out of my mind." Ren snorted and pulled his hands off of her face.

"What? Yeah…I'm sure you did while you were making out with your co-star for that last movie." Ren nearly laughed. "Or when you got Heather pregnant on our _anniversary_?!" Ren shook her head and turned to leave. "Were you thinking about me, then?!" Why should she believe him? He lied to her before. What would keep him from lying to her again? Ren once more started to walk away again, only to feel the same thing happen as Jason's hand firmly tightened around her wrist, keeping her from leaving. God…she just wanted to go home. "Let go Jason!"

"Damn it, Ren! I…I love you!" Jason shouted, making not only Ren's insides burst. Not from happiness…but from every other opposite emotion. She wasn't sure what she should be feeling. But what she knew what she wasn't feeling was _right._ She didn't feel right about this at all. It was then that he roughly grabbed her face in his hands and forced his lips on hers in a bruising kiss. Ren gasped. She didn't want this. She didn't want this. He backed her up against the wall and she had to fight the bile from rising up in her throat. She tried to pull away but his grip was too strong. Ren bit down roughly on his lip, tasting the blood that spilled into her mouth. He yelped and stepped back, falling against the wall behind him. "Fuck! That hurt! You bitch!" Ren noticed the change in Jason's stance. She had seen it so many times before. He had such a short temper. Everything inside her told her to run. _Run. Run. Run._

So she did. She ran. She ran as fast as she possibly could, but he was faster. She felt the tears stream down her face as he spun her around and swiftly hit her across the face. The blow spiraled her backwards but, Ren was sure, she wouldn't go down without a fight. She was sick of this. She was sick of him. She wouldn't just let him walk all over her again. However, she was sure that her body would give out soon. But she wouldn't let him win over her spirit.

No. That was something she would keep.

"How _dare_ you show your face here?!" Ren growled, glaring at Jason. She could feel Jason's whole entire body tense. She was only serving to make him more frustrated. Good.

Oddly enough, an image of Tawny flashed in front of her eyes. Was that what she was fighting for? Was that why she was staying strong?

Jason's hand hit her across the face once more and she felt her body falling backwards again, but his hand was holding her up by the shirt. She felt the whole blow ricochet throughout her body, pain hitting every one of her nerves. She forced her head to tilt upwards and her eyes to meet his enraged ones. She spit in his face, blood splattering across his handsome movie star features. Where were the tabloids when you needed them? Or a police officer, for that matter?

"You were never even worth it. You never loved me." She let out a strangled laugh, ignoring the tears that streamed down her face. "You think this is love? Love is something you'll never understand. You're nothing but a pretty boy acting that has nothing to live for but himself. You're nothing but a fucking bastard." His grip on her shirt tightened and she knew his whole body was shaking. God…it hurt so much. But something, she knew, was keeping her from feeling all of the pain. It was odd, actually. She knew she should feel horrible.

Scared.

Frightened.

But she didn't feel anything like that.

She felt _alive. _

She felt like she felt when she was laughing with Tawny. She felt like she was on top of the world. Well…maybe not on top of the world…as she was sure, when someone feels on top of the world, they don't have the blinding pain that she was feeling right then. But she felt free.

Maybe this was self destructive.

Maybe it was as self destructive as wanting to pull Tawny closer to her and dance with her.

Maybe it was as self destructive as not being able to pull her eyes away from the navel ring that intruded Ren's thoughts when she slept at night…or that smiling face that, whenever she saw it, she couldn't help but smile too.

Maybe it was as self destructive as falling in love.

But…if this was self destructive…then, Ren decided, that self destruction was perfect. It was perfection. It was what she was searching for before Tawny came to her with ice cream and answers and penguins.

Ren smirked as she saw Jason's rage fill to the brink. Soon, however, that smile slipped from her face as the reality of what was happening hit her. She felt the image of self destruction and ice cream quickly fade from her mind. Ren Stevens had a rather large reality check as Jason's fist connected with her face as she felt her body collapse beneath her. The full impact of the pain hit her as she felt her body fall to the ground in slow motion. She knew that Jason was satisfied as her smirk fell and her features were replaced with fear.

He had won over her mentally, finally. Reality had won.

Imagination…dreams…hope…they had no place in her mind anymore.

Ren felt the crashing impact of her skull hitting the freezing cement below her, vaguely hearing her name being shouted by a familiar voice. Ren would have sworn, if this wasn't Sacramento…her tears would have frozen.

oESoRoToESo

Alright guys! Another update! Yeah...I'm getting a bit better at 'em! P Maybe that's because I've got people cough naggin' me about it! Haha. Well...without them, I'd' prolly never update, though. So be thankful for them! It's a cliffhanger, it is! So, if you're a good reader and review me...and if I get my 3 reviews...you'll get the answer to your cliffhanger sooner then later! D

Review and the review button will strip for you! Come on! It'll take you to Vegas!

Just review! Please! )


	8. Chapter 8

"Ren!" Tawny shrieked, her eyes welling up with tears and her heart clenching. Jason was standing over her limp body, his chest heaving up and down rapidly, his rage evident. In a matter of moments, the two had crossed the street. Miles tackled Jason to the ground, the blonde stunned at his sudden opposition, as Tawny ran to Ren's side, kneeling down and gently talking to her, hoping to calm her, wiping her tears away, trying to help her up. The older girl rested her head in the crook of Tawny's neck, tears flooding down her cheeks. Tawny held her protectively as the older girl sobbed, both of their bodies shaking. Tawny took off her coat and wrapped it around Ren's shoulders. They weren't shaking from the cold.

Jason tried in vain to get the older man off of him as he was forced into the ground. "Get off of me, you asshole!" He shouted but was quickly silenced as Miles punched him in the face, Jason's whole body feeling the impact. While most people wouldn't guess it—though his body definitely showed it--Miles liked to keep in shape and Jason, even with his 'acting abs', was no match for him. Miles eased off of Jason just enough so the boy could breathe before pulling the blonde to his feet and pushing him back.

"Get the fuck out of here." Miles growled, a deathly serious look in his eye. Jason looked from Ren, who was shaking in Tawny's arms, to the man in front of him.

"And if I don't? This is between me and her! You have nothing to do with us!"

"We have a lot more of a right to be here, with her, than you do, you bastard! We have more of a right than you **_ever_** had! So how dare you say **_we_ **have no right?!" Tawny growled, still holding Ren tightly in her arms. Ren felt slightly stunned when she heard the venom in Tawny's voice. She had never heard Tawny so…angry—in fact, Ren was pretty sure she had never seen Tawny angry at all, unless she was slightly peeved at Louis.

"You don't even fucking know her!" Jason glared at Tawny, who was unmoved by his attempt to make her back down.

"I know her better than you **_ever _**will." Tawny had to hold herself back from marching up to him and tearing him from limb to limb. The feeling of Ren's body shaking against her, damaged and hurt, made her want to do something she rarely ever wanted to do…it made her feel something she never felt towards anyone—rage. Tawny was usually considered a peaceful person…and she always resorted to something else before violence. However, right now, she wanted to kill the man who had harmed the girl in her arms.

"What are you even going to do?! Do you know who I am?!" Jason's stance moved to its original cocky one that he sported everywhere. "In a couple of seconds, I could call the cops and instantly spin this my way."

"Yeah. But how would this look to the magazines, eh, Jason?! How would it look to the people who are constantly searching for a star's flaw?! They'd definitely find it when they found a worthless creep beating up his ex-girlfriend!" Miles glared at Jason, and he saw Jason visibly flinch. This would not look pretty to the papers. All Tawny could think was that, not only was Jason a complete bastard…he was insanely stupid, as well.

"It doesn't matter! This is between me and her!" Jason growled, advancing towards Ren. Tawny pulled Ren closer and Miles punched Jason in the face, one more time, forcing the younger man to stumble back into the alley.

"Not anymore!" Miles screamed. "I will beat the living shit out of you. Go, pretty boy! This is not a fight you want to take!" Miles shouted, his voice breaking through the deadly night, and Jason hesitantly turned and ran away before the cops showed up, knowing the paparazzi—which surprisingly hadn't followed him to the restaurant—would be soon behind them. And that would be hell for him.

Miles looked back towards Tawny, who was gently trying to soothe Ren down. "Th…ank…you…" Ren shakily groaned. Tawny was barely able to hear her. Tawny nodded and closed her eyes, pressing her lips gently to Ren's forehead.

"You're going to be ok. Everything will be ok." Tawny whispered, pressing her lips once more to Ren's forehead. It was a gentle kiss. A promise. And Ren seemed to relax against her touch. "I won't let him hurt you again. We'll be here. You'll be ok." Another gentle kiss and Tawny could feel Ren's tears slow slightly. "You're safe." Luckily, the older girl wasn't hurt as badly as she could have been. It could have been a lot worse. It wasn't pretty…and Tawny wished that it had never happened…but it could have been a lot worse. Who knows how far Jason would have gone? He might have even killed…Tawny stopped her train of thought. No. That wouldn't have happened. They got there in time. And Ren was ok. It looked like Jason had really only hit her in the face once…maybe twice…though the other blows were probably more damaging to the rest of her body, which probably wasn't good. That was, unless he hadn't hit her much. But, from the looks of it…he had. Tawny gasped as she saw the gash on the back of Ren's head from the impact of the ground.

Maybe it was a bit worse than she thought.

If only they had gotten there sooner, maybe they could have saved this whole fight completely. Tawny knew, however, that it was better later than never in this case.

"Can you help me get her up?" Tawny whispered, her voice cracking slightly. Miles nodded and took Ren's right side, helping her to her feet. Ren leaned on Tawny as she stood on shaky legs, the tears still gently falling down her cheeks and, when she was standing, she didn't let go of her tight grip on the younger girl. "My God, Ren…that…that bastard. We have to…come on. We have to get you cleaned up." Ren nodded wordlessly against Tawny's forehead as they started guiding the wounded girl towards Tawny's house, not exactly sure where else to go. "Mi…Mi I need something to stop the bleeding on the back of her head." Tawny whispered, frantically looking for anything to wrap around Ren's head. She would have ripped off a sleeve, but she had already wrapped her coat around Ren's arms.

Ren felt strong arms wrap around her and her body being hoisted up into the air, and she was glad, even in her exhausted state, that she didn't have to use the energy to walk anymore. It hurt too much. Ren couldn't help but be thankful that she didn't have to face her family, like this.

In fact, Ren hoped she never had to go home again. Because she knew that not only would her family's disapproving faces be there…but she knew that so would Jason, with another one of his stories. Another one of his lies.

"You put up quite a fight though, before I got there, huh, Ren?" She heard an unfamiliar voice reach her ears. It was from the man carrying her. "He was already a bit bloody before I punched him." He chuckled and she knew he was trying to calm her down…maybe make her feel good about standing up to Jason, for however long she had. No matter if she gave up, in the end. She ignored the fact that she didn't know who the man was…all she could think was that she was extremely thankful that he was there, with Tawny. If it weren't for them…she wasn't sure if she would still be breathing.

Ren's eyes gently closed and they walked for a couple of moments before she heard Tawny's soothing voice, lulling her into a comforting sleep. She felt her breathing slow and the pain seem to numb as Tawny's soft voice floated through her ears. It was almost angelic.

"Yeah…" She heard Tawny's gentle voice next to her as they moved along the road, everything else, all of the voices in the night around them, blurring together into the silence. She felt Tawny's soft hand move the hair, which was damp from her tears, in front of her face behind her ear. Did she think she was asleep? It would make sense. Her eyes had been closed for a couple of minutes now…and her tears had stopped. But, Ren was sure, that was just because she could feel Tawny by her side. "My Ren is a strong one." She felt Tawny's lips press against her forehead one more time and Ren felt her heart soar. Something about Tawny saying 'My Ren' made her feel like she could go through all of what she had five times more, just to hear those soft, gentle…meaningful words from Tawny's mouth.

With those words, and the pain eased greatly, Ren fell asleep in a stranger's arms.

oESoRoToESo

It was kind of ironic that the storm that was heading in hit right in the middle of the walk back to Tawny's house.

It was also kind of ironic that, at the last minute before they started off towards the pizza parlor, Tawny and Miles figured that it would be 'nicer to walk'.

They started to regret not taking the truck.

While it was only a couple of blocks away—around ten blocks--it had started pouring around five blocks away from the Dean household, which really wasn't good for the three stuck in the rain. Ren groaned and shifted in Miles arms. Tawny bit her lip. She knew Ren didn't like the rain. They started to jog down the road.

"Shit!" Tawny normally loved the rain…but right now…it was highly unneeded. "We're not that far…but it's a 10 minute walk from here. Maybe five if we ran the whole way…how are…we can't keep her out in the rain like this! It'll only make her worse."

"This is just…this sucks!" Miles grumbled, trying to keep Ren up in his arms, losing his grip slightly from the pouring rain. "I…can't really run with her…in my arms…I don't want her to…get hurt more!" Miles shouted over the pounding rain. They couldn't afford to stop. There was a crash of thunder and Tawny felt her heart stop when she heard Ren sob softly against Miles chest; Ren was scared to death of storms.

"I know…we…God…she's soaked." Tawny looked frantically over at Ren. The coat she had given her was thick…but it was completely soaked through. Tawny, luckily, was wearing her signature 'layered' look and she pulled off her long-sleeved shirt—which was also soaked through—to reveal another long-sleeved shirt, which she pulled off and laid both of the shirts on top of the older girl. "We have to keep her warm."

"Jesus, Tawny…how many layers do you wear?!" Miles tried to keep the humor light and Tawny half-smiled back at him. "You can't…you have to be freezing, T. At least take my jacket." Miles looked worriedly at the girl next to him as they continued to jog towards her house.

"I usually wear more layers. I wish I did. I figured I could tough it out tonight. And I didn't really have much time to put anything on." She yelled over the rain, her breath running slightly short. The cold definitely wasn't helping. Miles went to take of his coat but Tawny stopped him. "Thanks but…I don't really need it. I'll be ok." While she tried to hide the freezing cold that was biting at her, her teeth still managed to chatter while she spoke and Miles was extremely unconvinced.

Tawny saw a flash of lightning and automatically reached her hand out and put it on Ren's back, wishing to comfort the girl. When the thunder crashed through the sky this time, with Tawny's hand gently rubbing circles on her back, Ren didn't whimper.

oESoRoToESo

It had taken them seven minutes to get to the house, and all three of them were soaked to the bone, all of them shivering. However hard Tawny tried to hide it, she was definitely the worst off…she was shaking to death. The temperature, they discovered as they walked into the house, outside was barely above freezing temperature: 33 degrees. They stumbled into the nearby living room, Miles gently easing Ren onto the sofa. Tawny ran into the bathroom, frantically searching through the medicine cabinet to find the gauze they kept in the house, in case of an emergency.

"She's lost a bit of blood, Tawn. But, to be honest, not as much as I would have thought she had, from that impact." Miles said nervously, checking over Ren's wounds. She groaned as he rolled her over on the couch. The one on the back of her head was the worst. Hopefully she wouldn't have a concussion. Tawny scrambled out of the bathroom without the gauze in hand, not caring about the mess she left behind.

"That's good, right? Damn it…I can't…I can't find the gauze." Tawny sighed as she looked over at Ren's shaking form, which was soaking wet. "She has to…we…we have to get her out of these wet clothes." Tawny whispered and Miles nodded. They gently maneuvered the wounded girl up as Tawny grabbed the clothes she had laid on top of her and threw them to the floor, quickly pulling off Ren's long-sleeved shirt, carelessly throwing it to the side as well. Tawny was sure that, on any other occasion, she would have melted from the possibility of doing this to Ren—she had already had a couple of agonizing fantasies about it—but, as of right then, she was just scared out of her mind. She looked over at Miles and shook her head. "You've been a lot of help, Mi…but…well…I think maybe you should look away for a bit." Miles nodded and turned around as Tawny pulled off the remaining layer…a t-shirt, leaving her in nothing but a bra and pants. "Actually could you go get her a blanket?" Tawny asked, looking thankfully over at Miles as he stood up without a word and jogged up the stairs. "Ren…you're going to have to help me, here." Tawny whispered gently to the older girl and, groaning, Ren nodded slightly, raising her hips—she barely had enough strength to do even that—as Tawny's hands moved from her waist down to the bottom of her ankles, sliding Ren's jeans down her wet legs, a breeze replacing where her warm touch had been. It made Ren shiver. Miles rushed down the stairs with a blanket just in time to hear Tawny's comment. "Damn…these are still wet, too." Tawny motioned towards Ren's underwear. And then Tawny's eyes widened as she realized that she just might have a naked Ren Stevens on her couch.

'_Tawny…no…stop thinking. I have…I have to stop…thinking.'_ Tawny thought to herself as her eyes slowly slid over Ren's exposed form. '_I have to stop thinking of her…I have to think of her well-being…not of that **gorgeous** body…' _Tawny nearly slapped herself.

"Ren…I think…you have to…," Tawny stopped in the middle of her sentence to take the blanket from Miles' arms, draping it over Ren's shaking form. "Thanks. She's freezing."

"Is there anything else I can get?" Miles asked, his face full of concern.

"Yeah…can you get the gauze?" Tawny asked. "I searched all through the bathroom and I couldn't find it." Miles nodded as she turned back to Ren. "Ren…we might…I might…you might have to…um…your whole body is wet." Tawny had to force the words out. Miles turned around to face her, a knowing smirk on his face as he head up the stairs. She shot a glare at him. "Ren…I might…you're soaked to the bone. I might have to," Tawny gulped, "You might have to take off your…under…garments." Oddly enough, Tawny wasn't sure what word to use in that sentence. It was funny if you thought about it, how little, in a conversation, someone said the word 'underwear' or 'undergarment'. Both of the words seemed completely stupid coming out of Tawny's mouth.

Ren simply nodded, not in much of a mental situation to think of much. Honestly, at that moment, any advice that Tawny gave her, Ren would take. She trusted her 100. "O…kay." Ren shivered, not really able to move.

"Uh…Ren." Tawny noticed Ren's eyes gently slipping closed. Wait. No. No. Ren was _not_ making her do _this_, of all things! "Ren?" Ren simply grunted as her eyes opened slightly. "Ren!" Tawny said nervously, her eyes as wide as saucers. She was not going to do this. Yet, she found her hands slowly moving across the distance as she leaned forward, pulling Ren into her arms. "Fine…be stubborn." Tawny shakily whispered, hoping that the humor would throw Ren off from the nervousness in her voice. Tawny moved slightly so that she was straddling the older girl, since she was already kneeling next to Ren on the couch, so that it was easier for her to move around Ren's freezing body. She looked into Ren's half-closed eyes as her hands moved down from Ren's side to her hips, grasping the thin, soaked fabric hanging around her waist. Their eyes were still connected and Tawny couldn't help but find her heart clench from the look in Ren's eyes. Ren trusted her. She 100 completely trusted her. But there was something different in the older girl's eyes…and she couldn't quite place it. Tawny took in a deep breath. This was it. She slowly slid the fabric down Ren's hips, trying her hardest to ignore what was happening beneath her. However, Tawny couldn't manage to pull them off completely. God. This was totally and completely agonizing.

"You're gonna have to help me a little here, at least." Tawny barely managed to choke out and Ren groggily nodded, their eyes never moving from each other's. Ren raised her hips as Tawny finished pulling the fabric off of Ren's slender legs, throwing it out from under the blanket. Fortunately, Tawny couldn't really feel that part of Ren's body pushing against her, since she was wearing jeans—even though they were soaked through. Unfortunately, however, the fact that Tawny couldn't see any of it only left more to the imagination.

'_You can do this. You can do this.'_ Tawny chanted to herself._ 'One down…one more to go.'_ Tawny's hands twisted around Ren's back as she tried to focus on the task at hand as hard as she could, ignoring the fact that Ren's half naked, slender, curvy, gorgeous body was pressed against her. And, considering the fact that Tawny was in a wet tank-top herself—which was damply clinging to her body—her senses were heightened as she felt Ren's body pressed tightly against her own. Mainly, she felt Ren's breasts pressed up tightly against her own damp chest. Oh, God…this could not be good for her mental health.

'_Oh God…Oh God…Oh God…' _Tawny closed her eyelids tightly, trying to keep her breathing at a steady pace. Hopefully Ren, in her barely functioning state, wouldn't notice Tawny's obvious tension from having to do the task in front of her.

Tawny's fingers wrapped around Ren's bra clasp and she nervously undid it, taking a deep breath before feeling the fabric loosen around Ren's damp body. _'Ren…is…half…naked…'_ Tawny thought, taking a deep breath, her eyes still closed shut. '_Ren is half naked…under…you. And, once you remove her bra…she will be totally and completely naked.** Naked**. Ren Stevens will be naked…and under you.' _Tawny hesitated only for a moment before dropping the bra off the side of the couch. Tawny closed her eyes again and took a deep, shaky breath.

She could feel Ren's body pressed up against her, and, Tawny noticed, the older girl wasn't shaking anymore. Without even thinking about it, Tawny gently lowered her head to Ren's shoulder, placing a gentle kiss there. She felt Ren's body freeze for a moment but relax against her touch.

"Tawny…" Ren whispered, her voice hoarse. It took a lot of effort to talk. Tawny pulled back and met her eyes once more, Ren's eyes, once again left unguarded, flooding with emotion. "You're…freezing." Ren's hands gently moved up Tawny's arms, making Tawny's flesh break into gooseflesh. It was then that Tawny realized that she was still shivering like crazy, and was still soaked to the bone. Her hair was wet and dripping small drops of water onto Ren's bare skin, but neither of them paid much attention to it. Both of them were too busy being painfully aware of how close they were. Tawny was now fully straddling Ren—who was totally and completely naked—and their faces…their lips…were so close. "You're…shaking…to death." Ren whispered, as her eyes glanced down Tawny's form. She vaguely remembered Tawny putting more clothes on her in the rain…but she hadn't realized that she had left the girl practically bare. She was wearing a white tank-top—which, Ren noticed, that you could see completely through--with a black sports bra that was visible through the thin fabric. She also noticed the outline of that Goddamned navel ring that seemed to constantly fill Ren's thoughts. Ren let her eyes trail back up to Tawny's.

Her eyes were completely unguarded…and she could see so much in them. She was obviously worried for her. And, was it just her, or were they darker? Ren could feel Tawny's breath against her face and she wondered how she even had the strength to keep thinking. She really wasn't in a state to keep thinking. She wasn't in a well enough state to take off her own clothes—she had to have Tawny do that. Or…was she? No. Of course she wouldn't. She would never, even subconsciously, make Tawny take off her clothes for her…at least…Ren never thought she would. And then it hit Ren—she was naked. But…oddly enough, and even more odd for a person like Ren Stevens, she felt completely comfortable. She felt safe under Tawny. In fact…Ren couldn't think of a single time when she didn't feel safe with Tawny. Yes, she was naked…but she didn't care. Ren Stevens was completely naked, lying under Tawny Dean, and completely turned on.

She wasn't sure what it was.

But she was most definitely turned on.

Maybe it was Tawny's wet body being pressed so tightly against her naked one.

Maybe it was that Godforsaken bellybutton ring.

Hell…maybe she had a concussion.

Ren knew she should be feeling so many things right now. The pain of her pounding migraine—which surely came from the blow to the back of her head. The cold from the freezing weather outside—though Tawny's warm body pressing against her had definitely made her warmer. The heartache from seeing Jason again—though she did feel heartache…but a different kind of heartache at the moment.

But Ren felt nothing like that.

She felt that self-destructive feeling she got when she was fighting back against Jason. She felt that self-destructive feeling that she always felt when she was around Tawny. She felt that self-destructive feeling that put her on top of the world. She felt that self-destructive feeling that she had been looked for for this whole time...that perfection. She felt that self-destructive feeling by being so close to the younger girl it almost burned.

And all she could feel right now was that looming sense of self-destruction...and perfection tangled in the web.

Both of them were breathing slightly heavily, not sure what was about to happen, and not even sure what they _wanted_ to happen. Ren still felt Tawny's body shake beneath her fingers as she gazed into the younger girl's eyes. There was something so intimate about the connection they were sharing between each other. There was something so intimate about the way they were laying together, tangled on a sofa, both of them soaked. There was something so insanely intimate about the way their breaths came and went, each breath leaving a lingering feeling on the other's skin. Slowly, they both found themselves closing the distance between each other. Their eyes gently closed right before their lips touched and-

"Tawny! I found it!" Miles shouted from upstairs. Tawny froze. What was she doing? She pulled back, not noticing the look of loss that slipped over Ren's face. Even if she thought that Ren wanted what was soon about to happen…Ren was in no state to make a decision like that. A life-altering decision like that shouldn't happen when one of the people taking part in that decision could possibly have a concussion. No. Tawny looked into Ren's eyes with regret. Tawny was taking advantage of Ren.

Tawny rolled off of the couch and wrapped the blanket around Ren before smiling softly at the older girl, trying to act as if nothing happened. Ren tried to smile back, but found herself becoming extremely nauseous. It was almost like the same feeling of bile rising up in her throat that she seemed to have every single time she looked at Jason. The rain pounded outside as Tawny gently tucked the blanket around Ren's sides, making sure that Miles wouldn't see any of the older girl's flesh when he walked back downstairs. Tawny stood up and looked out the window, taking a deep breath, before looking back down at Ren, trying her hardest to smile.

"It was under your bed! Don't know how it got there but--" Miles laughed as he jogged down the stairs, noticing Tawny's depressed face. "You ok?" His voice was full of concern and Tawny tried to use her acting skills to her advantage. Suddenly, all she wanted to do was cry.

"Yeah. I'm ok. Just uh…can you…the cut on the back of her head…can you…" Tawny took in a deep breath, trying to compose herself. "Can you clean it up?" Tawny tried to sound upbeat, but knew that it sounded completely fake. Miles nodded.

"Of course."

"Good. I think…I really need to get out of these clothes." Tawny whispered, looking back at Ren before looking at Miles. "I'm really cold." Miles nodded as Tawny started walking up the stairs. She stopped on the middle stair and watched the pounding rain for a moment.

God…she really needed a cold shower, now.

Then again, maybe she could just go back outside. It was cold enough out there. Wordlessly, neither Ren or Tawny sure of what to say to one another, Tawny headed upstairs to change clothes.

oESoRoToESo

(A/N: Don't you just love that sexual tension? You know you do! Since you guys were good and reviewed...I updated the NEXT DAY! how AWESOME is that, eh?! There ya go! See what happens when you're good an review? Now all that's left is to get the review button to take you to Vegas...)


	9. Chapter 9

_Disclaimer: Nope. Don't own it. Don't ask. Don't sue. Even if I DID own Even Stevens, which I don't, then why would it matter? The show ended FOREVER ago! Haha. It would seem that I'm just trying to relive my glory days. P _

_Oh. By the way…enjoy. _

oRoEoSoTo

"RUBY!!!" Ren's voice could be heard echoing throughout the halls of the Steven's Household.

"What?" Ruby, Ren's best friend-who was now wincing from Ren's screech of anger from the garage—yelled from the Steven's living room. Ruby spent most of her time delving into the latest gossip—if not starting it—and trying out the latest beauty products …but now she wished that she put more of her time into acting, as she knew she would cave as soon as she saw Ren. She never was very good at lying. Still, Ruby stood there, trying to put her most adorable innocent face on. Ruby had just come into the living room looking for the birthday girl before she was going to head back outside to her task at hand. Unfortunately…she had already been caught.

"I asked you for _two_ things, Ruby! TWO!" Ren shrieked as she stumbled in from the garage. All she wanted to do was get a cold water from the fridge in the garage but what she stumbled upon there was a lot more pressing of a matter than the water. "Two things! And you couldn't even do that! It's my _birthday!_ Not 'let's throw a…get…everyone…drunk party'…day!'" Ren finished lamely and Ruby chuckled. She instantly shut up after Ren glared at her.

"Oh, come on, Ren! So what? It's only a little bit of alcohol! Lighten up! It's your 18th, for Christ's sake!" Ruby walked out of the Steven's household towards her car and took another case of alcohol from her trunk, walking towards the Steven's garage. Ren just stood there, gaping at her.

"What?" Ruby asked, that innocent look back on her face.

"Oh my god!" Ren just stood there, her mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. "Do…do you even listen when I talk? At all? Even a little bit?"

"A little. But most of it kind of just goes in one ear and out the other." Ruby smirked and dropped the case on top of the others in the garage. Ren shook her head and roller her eyes, not helping the small smile that came onto her face anyways. But, being Ren, her face soon turned serious again. Two rules. That was all she gave her. Two rules. If there was one thing Ren was sure to do, it was sticking to her principles. Well this was definitely one of her principles. No alcohol. No sex. That was all that she wanted at her party.

What was the next thing Ruby would do? Would she set up a sex booth? Ren stopped her thinking process for a moment. A sex booth? How would that even work…? Ren inwardly winced. She did _not_ want to know.

"No alcohol, Ruby." Ren started back towards the house, determined not to let Ruby make this party into just another one of the many drunken school parties. They never ended well. And they were always a rather large mess to clean up. Besides, the Stevens' had given the whole entire house to Ren, in trust that she would keep everything safe and in order. Ren didn't want a single thing to go wrong. They had already left, meaning that everyone, from that point on, was her responsibility. And the alcohol now piled sky-high in garage was Ren's responsibility.

"Ren," Ruby whined, following Ren into the house. "Come on! It's your _18__th_ birthday party! You can't just let it float by with nothing special going on! And you can't have a good party with out a little alcohol…I promise!" Ruby pulled Ren's arm and forced the taller girl to face her and Ren sighed. "I told you that I was going to make this the most…amazing party this year! And it will be! In fact, I bet I can make it the greatest party of Lawrence High's history!" Ruby got an excited gleam in her eyes and beamed at Ren. Ren groaned. The alcohol was already hauled into her garage. There was nothing she could do. Even if there was something she could do, there was no way Ren could just let Ruby take all of that alcohol home…what would Ruby do with it? Drink it all by herself? That certainly couldn't be good for a person's health…even Ruby's. Even though Ren was pretty sure that she must have built up quite some tolerance for the stuff by now.

"Fine." Ren sighed. Ruby squealed. "But…just don't…set up a sex booth or anything, ok?" Ren groaned, remembering her earlier thoughts. Ruby just gave her a quizzical look. "Nothing. Don't worry about it. Let's just get the rest of this in the garage before my parents see it." Ruby smirked and nodded, knowing Ren would eventually cave it. In was crazy not to have a party without alcohol, after all.

The 'no-sex' thing was reasonable.

But an 18th birthday party without alcohol?

That was insane.

oRoEoSoTo

Tawny Dean walked onto the streets of Sacramento, dressed in casual party clothes—no one would have ever known that it took not around 2 hours to pick the outfit out, but Miles was also forced to sit on her bed, looking at the different selections of outfits to be had. He finally rolled his eyes and said, "Fine! I freaking pick that one, ok?! Now let _me _get ready now, ok?!—that looked rather fitting on her. Normally she wouldn't have forked over this much effort on an outfit…but something about tonight made her want to dress up.

It was almost like a feeling that something would happen.

That something would change.

Or, maybe, it was just the fact that it was Ren's party and Tawny knew that Ren would be there.

Tawny sighed. _Ren._ It had been a week since the 'incident' with Jason and Ren. And Tawny couldn't help but feel like something had changed.

It was nerve-wracking, remembering the close encounter Ren and Tawny had had on the couch, when Tawny was practically forced to change the older girl…but it was nearly paralyzing remembering what had happened when she had come back down.

And how totally and completely…natural it felt.

Tawny found her feet moving down the streets subconsciously, her feet knowing the path to the Steven's residence well enough that her brain didn't necessarily have to be on the task at hand in order to wind up at the house.

After all…Tawny's mind seemed to be wandering off a lot more these days, but her feet always still seemed to find their way to that same house every time she was needed to be there…whether it was for Louis or for, lately, Ren, it didn't seem to matter, as Tawny's mind always wandered.

And, lately, so did her heart.

"_Don't go…please…don't go." Ren looked up at Tawny, her body shaking slightly. "Don't go. Just…stay…please…just…stay with me?" Ren's voice sounded so…frail…so fragile. When Tawny looked down at the older girl, who was usually so strong and confident, whose eyes were tearing and…God… she looked like a kicked puppy. Or maybe a scared child who crawled into her parents' room, trying to hide from nightmares. "Please…I just…I don't…I don't want to be alone, right now."_

Tawny sucked in a deep breath, closing her eyes and collecting herself, before she pulled open the door leading to the Steven's household. She had knocked three times before coming in and, hearing the blasting music coming from inside the house, figured that the door would be unlocked, welcoming people to come on in and enjoy the party. And Tawny was right, the door was unlocked.

Ren would probably freak out if she knew her front door was unlocked.

oRoEoSoTo

It had been an hour since the party had started and Ren hadn't seen Tawny since she had walked through the door and greeted Ren with her normal warm smile. It was like a hellhole downstairs, however, and Ren was too busy keeping people from breaking all of the valuables--and from breaking themselves--to find her. Ren growled and sat down on the living room sofa, burying her head in her hands as she took a break for a moment. People stumbled around her, drinks in hand—most likely alcoholic—but Ren didn't take notice. It wasn't fair. All she wanted was a quiet evening…a quiet evening with her family and sleep…nice, relaxing, and carefree sleep. That was all she really asked for.

The screams and laughter of nearly 300 people met Ren's ears and she winced. Well. It wasn't quiet. There was a loud crash and Ren could feel the anger surge through her. Ren was pretty sure she was _not_ sleeping. And she had no idea where the hell Louis was. If he was even here anymore…though she was sure that he was. So there was really no family either.

That was all she really asked for. Family. Sleep. And quiet.

Instead…she got this.

She had a party full of loud, obnoxious, drunk people and her ex boyfriend coming back to town to beat the living hell out of her. "Some birthday." Ren growled, burying her head deeper in her hands.

There was music booming throughout the room and quite a few people were dancing, though most were dancing horribly, since they were all pretty much drunk. There were scattered beer bottles and whole bottles of alcoholic beverages left around throughout the whole entire house.

It was definitely not going to be fun to clean up.

On her birthday.

She was going to have to clean up on her _birthday_. Ok. So it wasn't technically her birthday…but it was her birthday party! Someone should not have to clean up on their _own_ birthday party! It was not right! What it was, however, was_ infuriating_! It was her birthday! Hers!

Which, Ren was pretty sure, only a couple of people had congratulated her for during the whole entire night. Ren sighed and rubbed her temples, feeling a headache coming on. She had already been forced to drink a beer by Ruby—which, Ren had to say, she did not care for—and she knew that her mind was not in the right state. She was tired. Maybe she should just go to bed. Let the party work itself out.

No. That would be highly irresponsible…however tempting.

Ren sighed, trying to focus on something. Trying to focus on anything. She needed to get her thoughts in order. She never really took alcohol well…and that one beer was really starting to affect her. She forced herself to focus on something and tried to remember what she had thought about before…

Who wished her a happy birthday?

That was a good one. Well…one of them was Tawny. Yeah, Tawny had, when she came through the door. "Happy belated birthday, Ren!" She had said with that same calm smile…almost like nothing had happened last week. Ren sighed. _Had_ anything happened last week? Ren didn't know what to think of anything, anymore. She had been so scared…and Tawny…Tawny was there and…Ren sighed again. She had been vulnerable. Completely vulnerable. And Tawny just held her while she slept and was…there for her. It was nice, really. To know that you could count on someone, like that_. Tawny._ Where was she, anyways? Ren heard familiar laughter and looked over to the corner of the living room and spotted Tawny, a large smile on her face and a drink in her hand. It was a water, though, and Ren couldn't help but smile when she remembered that Tawny never really drank much. Tawny had told Ren that herself. Ren felt her whole entire body tense, however, when she looked next to Tawny and noticed her brother with an equally large smile on his face.

They were laughing about something. What was it?

Ren shook her head. Why did she even care? Had she ever cared before? No. No. She hadn't. So why did she care now? Ren's eyes trailed up from Tawny's feet to her abdomen, looking at how well she had grown into her body, when she noticed it. The belly button ring. Ren shook her head, thoughts filling them that she instantly regretted ever letting in. She continued up, quickly, to gaze over Tawny's face and focused on the younger girl's sparkling eyes. They had so much life in them. So much emotion. Those eyes followed her everywhere…and Ren had no idea why. That was why she was scared of when she wanted to tell Tawny about everything first.

That's why it scared her that she had asked Tawny to stay with her.

That's why it scared her when Tawny did.

That's why everything scared her.

She had no idea what was going on with her. Emotionally. Physically. That's why it scared her!

That's why…that's why Tawny scared her.

Ren noticed the way Tawny's body curved to Louis' as they danced, both happy. They were so happy. Ren wanted to throw up.

Ren let her eyes trail down to Tawny's exposed abdomen once more, the glare of the bellybutton ring blinding her. The way it moved when she danced with Louis…it was a curious thing, really.

Why had Tawny wanted to get it? That question had crossed Ren's mind many times before.

Why?

It did look excellent on the younger girl…but who goes out in the morning and says, "I want a bellybutton ring, today!" Obviously, some people had been spontaneous enough to do that same thing…for various reasons, Ren was sure. But was Tawny really _that_ spontaneous?

Did Tawny just wake up one morning and say, "Hey! I want a bellybutton ring, today!"

Or did she plan it out, for years and years, like Ren would have? Did she mark the exact day she would get it done? Did she pre-pick the perfect ring a year before she would even have to lay eyes on it? Or did Tawny just wake up one morning…not even thinking about it…and then, spontaneously, get a bellybutton ring?

Either way…it looked excellent on her.

Ren closed her eyes, a feeling rising up in her.

Yes, it definitely looked excellent on her.

Ren looked to her left and spotted Ruby with a bottle of tequila and, quickly, snatched it from the blonde's hands, ignoring Ruby's complaint of, 'Hey! That's mine!'

How had she not noticed the girl next to her the whole entire time? Maybe it was because the only thing her eyes had watched the whole entire night was Tawny and her brother…and that damn bellybutton ring of hers. Ren had no idea how it happened…but it had. One second she was staring at Tawny, the next she had a bottle of tequila in her hand.

Ren looked to her left and smirked devilishly at Ruby. "Ren?" Ruby asked, concern and amazement mixing in her voice. Ren popped open the bottle and raised it to her mouth. The whole entire party seemed to stop and gaze at her. She could hear the people's shouts of, 'Drink! Drink! Drink!' but it was a vague sound, as the feeling of Tawny's eyes burning into her had a much higher impact. "Are you sure about this, Ren?" Ruby asked, the concern beating the amazement, this time. Ren nodded as the chorus urging her to drink got louder.

"Well. It is my 18th birthday party, after all. I should at least have a decent amount of alcohol." Ren felt that feeling edging back into her that she hadn't felt in nearly half a month. Carelessness. Recklessness. They were ruling her brain, now, along with that one beer. She didn't even stop to think about how, if one beer affected her so horribly, how so much straight tequila would affect her.

For once in her life, Ren Stevens didn't think.

In the next second, Ren had raised the bottle, along with her head, and gulped down the liquid as it scorched down her throat. She ignored the burn she felt with each gulp and continued, barely able to hear the chorus of the people pressuring her, even though she had already seemed to have made up her mind before they started. All she felt, besides the burn of the tequila, was the burn of Tawny's eyes on her.

oRoEoSoTo

Ren winced when she pulled the bottle from her lips and the crowd around her cheered. She was sure her stomach had caved in…and her throat seemed to be on fire. She felt the alcohol shoot through her like a bullet and she nearly fell over. When she opened her eyes, she could see Ruby's shocked, gaping face and giggled.

"Jesus Christ, Ren. You're going to end up killing yourself." Ren gave Ruby a confused look and Ruby nodded towards the bottle in Ren's hand, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. The bottle was empty. Ren drank the whole entire thing. Or did she? She wasn't really sure. She had grabbed the bottle out of Ruby's hand. Which meant that Ruby could either be half drunk from half a bottle of tequila…or that Ruby wasn't nearly drunk enough for Ruby's usual standards.

Because Ren could have drank the whole bottle before Ruby even got a sip.

Ren stared at the bottle with wide eyes.

Could someone do that?

Obviously someone could…because she just did.

Were you supposed to do that?

Ren gulped and shook her head, finding it extremely hard to think.

Couldn't someone die from that?

Ren shook her head once more, trying to think.

Yes. Yes. Something deep down told Ren that someone _could_ die from that. The room started to spin slightly and Ren sat back down on the sofa. Where was she? Wasn't she thinking about something? Oh. Yes. That's right. Someone could die from something like that…but the feeling inside of Ren wasn't of fear…it wasn't of regret…it was of triumph. She had finally done something crazy. Something completely un-Ren-like. Was that a word? Could it be a word? Ah, who cares?! If she wanted it to be a word…it could be a word! She had done something completely un-Ren-like. And it felt good. It felt really good.

Ren laughed. A full, happy, joyous laugh. Yes…someone could die from something like that. But at the moment, Ren didn't care. She couldn't care less. Ren couldn't care less about anything, actually. And that made her laugh.

There was a feeling. A strange feeling. A feeling Ren hadn't felt in a long time. She felt…giddy, almost. Content. She felt content and giddy and…and just…like Ren. She felt like herself. She felt like her real self. She felt like she didn't have to do anything for anyone…like she didn't have to smile if she didn't want to. She didn't have to be perfect. She didn't care if she _was_ perfect.

She was content.

And she was most definitely drunk.

"Ren?" There was a familiar voice that sent chills down her spine. "Ren." The voice sounded firm, this time, and Ren could have sworn that she felt a pressure on her shoulder, along with the same burning eyes on her from before. Tawny. It was Tawny. Tawny was saying something to her. Ren bolted up into a standing position, feeling her legs wobble beneath her. The room started to spin and she couldn't really focus on anything.

"Ren!" Ren looked over to her side and saw a figure in front of her, but the most prominent thing she saw was those blazing blue eyes. Those eyes. She felt herself slowly start to fall, but warm arms circled around her before she could hit the ground. "Shit, Ren."

_Shit._

_'Yes' _Ren thought_, 'Something tells me that I __**can**__ die from doing that.'_

oRoEoSoTo

_**(A/N: Well, guys! I hope you liked it! I do have to apologize for the extremely long hiatus. I'm bad with that. But, hey! At least you got a nice update:P **_

_**Man, though. I REALLY AM sorry about how long it took me to update! I apologize. But, hey, at least now you guys know that I haven't given up on this story! In fact, I've gotten a new love for it. So there should be more from where this is coming:P **_

_**Well, you know the rules! No update without AT LEAST 3 reviews! And, I have to tell you, just to get you guys to review, that I DO have the next chapter already written and ready to go! So, maybe, just maybe, if you review fast enough…I might post it sooner:P**_

_**Oh! And, of course, the review button will strip for you if you review! –winks at review button- You sexy sexy review button, you!)**_


	10. Chapter 10

_**(A/N: Ok, guys! Here's an extra-long chapter! Why is my A/N at the top this time…? I have no freakin' idea! But it is! That's what being the author of a fic does! It gives you power! Muhahuahhahahahwhahaha! –Insert maniacal, evil laughter here-! Anyways. Yeah…so…I'm goin' out of town tomorrow, for a week, so I decided to update for you guys! Especially since you've been so good and reviewed! Now, normally, I'd offer the review button to strip if you reviewed…but, well, sorry to tell you guys this, but the review button is goin' with me on vacation! However, we're leavin' it's identical twin—Review button Joe!—to take it's place. So, if you guys leave a review, Review Button Joe (Not Smexy Purple Review Button) will be glad to share with you some booze and a story of how the great Confederation was founded. He'll also tell you some war stories!**_

_**Er…even though, well, Review Button Joe is only 18 years old…he doesn't HAVE any booze…and he was obviously never a Confederate solider…but, still! If you review, he'll be glad to pretend that he was! **_

_**Hehe. Well, yeah. So, anyways. I'm goin' out of town, so I won't be able to update. However, if you're good, and I get at LEAST 3 reviews while I'm gone, then I might be able to whip something up for when I get back. Besides, if I have reviews waiting for me, it'll make me smile!**_

_**And, I promise, I'll smile BIG!w00t w00t!)**_

**Disclaimer: Ok. Don't own Even Stevens. I'm not gaining profit and BLAH BLAH BLAH! Just pretend that I said all the legal crap! Haha. I'd much rather you be reading my STORY than my legal DISCLAIMER! Is it really that boring?! Sheesh. If my story was THAT boring you could have just TOLD me! **

**Or are my disclaimers just THAT interesting?**

**Ah…whatever! **

**ON WITH THE STORY!!!!!**

oRoEoSoTo

Tawny pulled Ren's limp body against her, tightly, feeling Ren's forehead with the back of her hand. "Shit. Shit. Shit." She was cold. Tawny whipped her head around to see Louis standing there, fear written all over his face. "Quick. Help me get her up, Lou. We need to get her into the shower. Fast." Louis jumped to Ren's side and the two lifted her off the ground, heading towards the stairs. The crowd started to gather around them.

"Shouldn't…shouldn't we get her to the hospital…or…something?" Tawny could barely hear Ruby's voice choke over the pounding voices of the crowd and the blaring music echoing throughout the Steven's household.

"There isn't enough time. Twitty!" Twitty popped out of the crowd, worry plastered on his face. "Call a doctor." Twitty nodded and ran to get the phone, disappearing out of site. "Lou…we have to get this stuff out of her system…fast." Tawny said sternly, her voice shaking slightly. Ren could die. Ren could _die._ It happened. People drank too much--and by the looks of things…Ren drank _way_ too much--and they passed out and they never got up. They died. They just had a party and died. Or they just…drank too much and went upstairs, never to speak a word again. They just left you on the side of the couch…wishing they would wake up. They just died. They just…_died_. Ren could die.

Tawny took a deep breath.

Ren could die.

Suddenly, the only noise that Tawny could hear wasn't the thumping of the base from the music…it was the raging beat of her own heart against her eardrums and the deafening silence of what silence really was.

Silence was death.

Tawny wished that she could go back in time an hour…a day…a week…a month, even, to stop Ren from doing what she had just done. She wished that she could go back even a couple of minutes. She wished that she could go back to the music…back to before anything but the deadly silence and the headache that her heartbeat was slowly bringing upon her.

What had happened?

Ren was usually so rational. She was the sane one. According to everything Tawny had ever heard or ever known…Ren Stevens was the sane one.

But…she wasn't sane tonight.

Tonight, Ren Stevens had made a mistake. And she could die because of that mistake.

Ren could die.

"Just…get everyone out of here!" Tawny shouted as she focused on getting Ren into the bathroom, knowing that's what her life depended on. She had to make Ren throw it all up. They didn't have enough time to get to the hospital. Ren would die if they tried.

But…she could die now.

Ren could die.

Tawny and Louis hoisted Ren up the stairs, trying their hardest to make it to the bathroom as fast as possible. Tawny didn't notice everyone slowly start to clear out, or the fact that Louis and Ruby were crying. She didn't notice any of it. She couldn't notice any of it. All Tawny noticed was the fact that, of all the times she had wanted to hold Ren in her arms--the feeling steadily growing over the past weeks--she had never wanted to have to hold her this tightly. She had never wanted to hold an unconscious Ren tightly against her chest, praying that her heart was still beating.

She had never wanted to wonder if the older girl was still alive.

Tawny thought back to a week ago, when Ren had asked her to stay with her for the night. Tawny thought of how her arms wrapped around the shivering girl as she held her, and how Ren slept in her arms, her breathing deep and slow. Tawny thought of how peaceful it felt…how…_right_ it felt. Tawny thought of all of this as she moved quicker than she ever had in her life, fear taking over her nerves. But the rational side of her brain and her instincts thankfully overrode her nerves, and both Tawny and Louis positioned Ren over the toilet as Tawny moved over to the shower. She turned the faucet and, soon, cold water rained down from the shower head, splashing against Tawny's hand.

"Come on, help me get her in here. She needs to wake up. At least be a bit coherent." Tawny closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. _That is, if she __**does**__ wake up._ She thought bitterly, knowing that they could have been too late. It had been around twenty minutes before Tawny could get to the older girl after she drank the bottle—the people in the crowd just wouldn't let her get the hell through!--and it had been around fifteen minutes of them hoisting her up to the bathroom and, in those thirty five minutes…Ren hadn't moved an inch. At least she was still breathing…and she had a pulse…but both were faint. She could just be in an alcohol-induced coma. God, Tawny prayed not. _Please wake up. Please wake up. _

"Come on, Ren. Come on." Tawny whispered as they pulled Ren's body into the shower, they were both relieved to hear a sharp intake of breath as Ren's eyes slowly started to drift open. But they had a glazed look to them.

"Oh, thank God." Tawny and Louis breathed the words at the same time and they both looked at each other.

"Ok. She's alive. That's…that's a good step. What next?" Louis asked, and Tawny could tell that he was much calmer, now, knowing that Ren was alive. But it needed to stay that way. The older girl could be in deep trouble if they didn't get that alcohol out of her system.

"We need to get her to throw up." Tawny stated and Louis nodded. He was too shocked and scared with Ren's current state to be surprised at Tawny taking the lead in all of this. He knew that she knew quite a bit about everything, and he always trusted her. What would be different about trusting her with this?

"How?" He asked, not sure what to do.

"Well…I…maybe she can make herself." Tawny bent down in front of Ren, her hand gently rubbing the older girl's back. "Ren…Ren…can you hear me?" Tawny whispered in her ear, her breath tickling Ren's neck. Ren drowsily turned her head, but such a movement made her head shake with pain and her stomach start to churn. "I need you to throw up, ok?" Tawny whispered in that same soothing voice and Ren started to nod, but stopped, the pain in her head too much to bear. Ren really didn't think she would have much of a problem with Tawny's request. She felt like she was going to, anyways. Tawny noticed the look on Ren's face and, quickly, positioned the older girl in front of the toilet once more, turning away when Ren emptied the contents of her stomach into the porcelain bowl. "Good, Ren. Come on. You can do it. You need to get all of that alcohol out of your system. Come on, that's it. There we go." Tawny continued to whisper soothingly into Ren's ear, one of her hands gently rubbing Ren's back, while the other gently stroked her hair. She averted her eyes every time Ren threw up, but she was still always there, stroking Ren's back and hair, that comforting voice in her ear.

Louis just sat there and listened, his back against the bathroom wall, and his head in his hands, feeling all of the stress of the past forty or so minutes start to pile on top of him. He actually hadn't drunk a single thing all night, even though he was planning on it, but Louis realized that there couldn't be more of a sobering experience. He lifted his head and watched the scene in front of him unfold. His sister could have died. Ren could have _died. _And Tawny…Tawny…Louis didn't know how she did it. He knew for a fact that, if he was Tawny, he'd be crying right now. For Tawny…this had to be a living nightmare of the past. He knew the two girls were friends. Yes, Louis could be self-obsessed sometimes…but he wasn't completely non-observant. What had happened last week had only justified his thinking. After what had happened with Jason, he'd thought that Ren would have gone to Ruby's…but, instead, she had wound up at Tawny's.

God, Louis felt like an ass. First, he brought a psychopath back into his sister's life—Tawny had told him all about what had happened after Ren and Jason both left the restaurant—and then he just let Ren drink a whole entire bottle of tequila! God, he was really screwing up. He just seemed to mess up his sister's life constantly. And he almost got her killed! Twice!

Yes, Louis grimly thought as he took in a deep breath, it was a sobering experience, indeed.

In fact, watching Ren throw up the contents of her small stomach, Tawny gently rubbing her back and encouraging her, soothing her, Louis was pretty sure that he would never drink again.

oRoEoSoTo

It was nearly six in the morning when the last two people cleared out of the Stevens' household. Those last people being, in fact, Ruby Mendel and Alan Twitty. The two had been very unwilling to leave, throughout the night, and had both cleaned up the house without a word, both wishing they could make sure Ren was ok. While Twitty wasn't as close to Ren as Ruby was, he was still worried about her. Ruby, however, was literally shaking until Louis came from the bathroom, two hours after the pair had hauled Ren upstairs, and announced that she would be ok. Ruby was still shaking after he announced it.

By the time Louis had come down the stairs, the two were sitting on the couch, the whole house cleaned. Ruby had to fight down the bile rising up in her throat when a thought entered her mind, looking at the now-spotless home: Ren would have been proud. Twitty had noticed Ruby's growing sense of fright over Ren, while they sat there, the silence threatening to consume them, and had wanted to say something…anything…to comfort her…but found that his throat was simply dry and the words couldn't possibly leave his lips. He settled for the fact that silence was better than Louis screaming because his sister had died from alcohol poisoning. While he knew it was weird…Twitty figured that the silence was more of a reassuring factor that Ren might still be alive, rather than a negative.

The silence gave them hope, in an odd sort of way.

They both froze as Louis descended the stairs, a more mature and somber look on the boy's face than one Twitty had ever seen. He looked like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders but they both let out a deep breath when a tired smile crossed his face, directed towards them.

"She's ok. She's…Tawny's…" Louis took in a deep breath. "She's ok. She's going to be ok, thanks to Tawny. Tawny's actually cleaning her up, right now…that's why I came down here. I figured I should give her a bit of…privacy." Both Ruby and Twitty took in deep breaths, relief washing over their bodies. Ruby looked like she was about to faint. "Tawny talked to the paramedic earlier, and she said that Ren needed to…get some sleep. They don't need to bring her in or anything. Just sleep. Apparently, we got pretty much all of the alcohol out of her stomach…but now it's just getting it out of her blood. So…she needs to sleep." Louis whispered, a headache starting to form. Both Ruby and Twitty nodded. He was relieved beyond words, that his sister had survived but, somehow…he still felt…useless.

Twitty, as per the request of Tawny, had called 911 immediately after she asked him to call a doctor. It had taken 20 minutes to get through hold—Twitty had been outraged, asking what would have happened if a murderer was in the house?!-- then around 30 minutes to get there. When the ambulance finally did arrive, a paramedic rushed upstairs to the bathroom, checking over Ren. He asked for only family to come up (Leaving Ruby and Twitty nervously downstairs) and rushed up the stairs with Louis. Once he arrived he began to question Tawny on what happened. Louis barely followed any of their conversation, just watching as Tawny nodded and asked a couple of questions. Before the paramedic left the house, an hour after he had originally arrived, he turned to Tawny and gave her a weary smile. "You did good, Tawny." His voice was gruff from lack of sleep, but he still remembered her name from when she had whispered it before. "You saved her life." And with that, he left the building.

Tawny had saved Ren's life…and everyone was thankfully aware of that fact, even though all of them had a sick feeling in their stomachs at the thought of what _could _have been, had Tawny not been there.

As soon as the paramedic descended the stairs, he was assaulted with questions from Ruby and Twitty, but apologized, telling them that he had to be on his way. This was his last stop for the night, which was why he could stay so long, and he had to head home to his wife and child. Thirty minutes, anxiously waiting after the paramedic left, Louis walked down the stairs to give the good news to his friends.

"But maybe you guys should still…stay here for a while…until morning. Just in case, y'know…?" Louis' tired voice trailed off and the two blondes nodded without question. He knew they probably would have stayed without him asking. Twitty would probably stay probably more for Louis' sake—he could see that Louis was about to nearly drop dead from all of the emotional baggage that was piling up on him—whereas Ruby would just stay for her own best friend's well-being. "Besides…I'm sure, when Ren wakes up, she'll be happy to see you, Ruby." Louis smiled softly before heading back upstairs to his bed, even though he was sure he wouldn't sleep that night. However, when he went to open his door, he stopped and crossed across the floor and leaned his back against Ren's door, drifting down to the floor. He let in a shaky breath and tried to still his raging heart.

Even if he hadn't done much tonight, he could still sit outside her door and make sure she was safe.

He would make sure she was safe.

oRoEoSoTo

Ruby felt the most joy she had felt in the past two hours when Louis said that Ren would be happy to see her. Throughout this whole ordeal…she knew it was terrible to think but, well…she felt _useless_. Like she wasn't worth anything, to Ren…as a friend or even a good Samaritan. She knew that Tawny and Ren had been friends—she had heard Ren mention it throughout the weeks—and she had even felt slightly jealous when Ren had told her about what happened with Jason. Though, really, she was too appalled at what Jason had done to pay any mind to Tawny. And, really, thinking about it, she felt that it was reasonable for Ren to end up going to Tawny's house, when the blue-eyed girl and Miles—she still remembered that dazzling smile from when she was a sophomore and he was a senior…Miles was definitely a man that was hard to forget—had saved her life. Even then, though, she felt worthless. She hadn't been able to protect her best friend from Jason…

And now she wasn't able to protect her from drinking herself to death.

Ruby only felt worse when her mind pointed out to herself that not only was it _her_ fault that Ren had even had alcohol at the party, but it was _her_ tequila bottle that Ren nearly died from!

Ruby sighed, leaning back in the couch.

It took a lot for them to leave in the morning when Louis descended the stairs once more and saw them there. He knew that they would want to stay, but Louis had insisted that they needed to go home and get their sleep—the sun had already started to rise—and that Ren definitely wouldn't be waking up until much later that day.

All Louis could think as he went back upstairs and resumed his earlier restless position, leaning his back on his sister's door, was: _'Thank God Mom and Dad aren't going to be back until tomorrow.'_

oRoEoSoTo

Tawny helped Ren up onto her bed, silently thanking God that the bathroom wasn't too far from the girl's room. It had been 3 hours, now, since Tawny and Louis had dragged her upstairs and into the bathroom. She would have originally started cleaning Ren up an hour ago, like she had told Louis she had been doing, if Ren hadn't started throwing up again. Tawny had only wanted to put the exhausted girl in bed after she made sure that there was absolutely no more alcohol in the older girl's system. After around 20 minutes of dry heaving, and another ten minutes of silence and Ren's moaning, along with Tawny's soft, comforting reassurances, Tawny helped Ren up and practically had to carry her into her room—unfortunately, due to her state, Ren couldn't even move, so Tawny was pretty much carrying 120 pounds of dead weight—and pulled her onto the bed. Ren groaned something and Tawny just went to Ren's dresser, figuring she was just mumbling incoherently.

"You know, Ren…I've had to change you how many times, now? And you haven't even taken me to dinner yet." Tawny grumbled, grabbing a t-shirt and a pair of pajama bottoms. She normally would have laughed at the irony of it all, but Tawny was too tired and still frightened to have a sense of humor, at the moment. Tawny wordlessly changed the older girl, her nerves still too shot to really feel embarrassed about it this time around. Besides, Ren was insanely drunk, she wouldn't even remember any of this tomorrow. However, Tawny still felt a soft blush making its way onto her cheeks as she slipped off Ren's pants and pulled on her pajama bottoms, her fingers tingling as she gently ran them over the smooth skin on Ren's hips. She made sure Ren was in the known recovery position before she turned around, intent on leaving.

However, Ren's continued mumbling of the same sound made Tawny turn around. It was a little more pronounced now.

Tawny walked back over to the side of the bed, leaning across it—Ren was lying on the other side—and brushed a small strand of hair from Ren's sweat-ridden forehead. Tawny didn't mind. In her opinion, right now, sweat was good. Sweat was very good. It meant that Ren was recovering and that she would, in fact, be fine. Ren was sweating the alcohol out of her system and, if she was sweating that meant that, tomorrow, she wouldn't be dead.

"What was that, Ren?" Tawny whispered softly, her fingers still gently rubbing against Ren's forehead. She figured that a headache was already forming there, from the look of relief that was crossing Ren's features at the pressure.

"S…ay." Ren mumbled again, her eyes still closed shut, and her breathing still labored. "…s…d…ay…"

"What?" Tawny whispered again, not sure what Ren was asking for. "Do you want water? Or maybe Louis or Ruby?" Tawny asked, not sure what the older girl could be asking for. Surely, if it was company she wanted, then Louis or Ruby would make sense. They made a lot more sense than _he_r, anyways. Ren drowsily shook her head and groaned from the pain it brought.

"Wan…" Ren groaned and Tawny's brows furrowed in confusion. Did she say want? Want? Want what?

"You want what?"

"Tah…nee…" Ren groaned again and Tawny gasped. That sounded suspiciously like her name. "Wan…Tah…nee…" Ren repeated once more. Tawny felt a tired smile cross her face at the mumbled words and a small feeling of warmth spread through her whole entire body. She was surprised, however, when Ren's arms weakly wrapped around her waist as she leaned over the bed. Tawny blinked. "Tah…nee…s…d…ay…s…d…ay…weh…me…" Ren whispered and Tawny nodded weakly before crawling next to Ren—making sure to kick off her shoes before she did, since it was a habit that had been drilled into her head since she was little…no shoes on the furniture…especially in a bed—and wrapping her arms around the older girl like she had last week. Tawny turned on her back, letting Ren rest on her side, in the recovery position, against her. Tawny couldn't help the grunt of relief that left her lips as she settled against the warm bed. Her body had truly taken a toll from the past hours, and the feeling of warmth the moment brought on her was not lost on Tawny's mind, or her body. Ren's arms were still around her waist, while one of Tawny's arms stretched across Ren's waist, holding her firmly in place by her back, and the other one gently massaging the back of her neck. Ren buried her head in Tawny's neck, but Tawny double-checked, making sure the older girl had her head elevated. Ren groaned once more from the feeling of Tawny massaging her neck before letting out a sigh and feeling herself fall into a deep sleep, her body resting peacefully against Tawny's.

Tawny took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. Finally, she let her body and mind relax and slow down for the first time in nearly 4 hours. Her heart beat slowed as she held Ren firmly against her, Ren's heartbeat and breathing assuring the younger girl that she was, in fact, alive. Tawny felt all of the emotion catch up with her as she laid there, Ren in her arms. Tawny took in another deep breath, but this time it shook as she let it out. There was only one time in her whole entire life where Tawny had been so scared…

Tawny opened her eyes and gazed down at Ren's now sleeping form. She moved her hand once more to brush another strand of hair from Ren's beautiful sleeping face, feeling so relieved and thankful that she was alive. She took in another deep breath, this time of Ren, assuring herself that she was there and ok. '_Don't you ever scare me again like that, Ren.'_ Tawny thought as felt tears prick at her eyes but forced them away. _'Don't you ever scare me like that, again.' _In a couple of days, when Ren was fully recovered from the whole mess, Tawny would make sure to go up to her and slap her for doing something so goddamn stupid. In fact, she would probably yell at her until her throat was hoarse…well, that was…if Tawny didn't tackle her from being so glad that Ren was alive.

Tawny took in another deep breath.

She would probably have to take some time to think over this, though. She wasn't sure if she would even be able to look Ren in the eyes, the next couple of days. This brought up a lot of memories for her…and they all hit so close to home.

So very, very, very close to home.

Tawny couldn't believe that Ren would do something so stupid…but, then again, everyone did something stupid, sometimes, didn't they? Wouldn't it be better if Tawny was there for Ren, instead of telling her she made a mistake? Yeah…it probably would be better.

As Tawny gazed down at Ren's sleeping face, her thoughts whirling, she decided not to hold it against her. In fact, Tawny promised herself, as her eyes closed, her whole entire body and soul exhausted, that she would help Ren through whatever she was going through…she wouldn't let it happen again, damn it. She would save Ren…even though she couldn't save….

Tawny shook her head to clear her thoughts and looked at the clock: 7:15?!

With a gasp of shock, Tawny gazed at the window to notice that it was light outside. Where had all of that time gone?! Tawny looked back down at Ren's sleeping face and took in one more deep breath. She had to go home…she just had to. Tawny wasn't sure that she could stay there much longer without falling apart…and she didn't need Ren or Louis or anybody that was still there to see that.

With the grace of a cat, Tawny slid out of Ren's arms, instantly missing the feeling of those warm arms around her and the warmth they gave, before she went to the other side of the room. She found a pad and paper and wrote a note before placing it on Ren's nightstand and slipping on her shoes. She went over to the bed and placed a soft, gentle, and loving kiss on Ren's forehead, her lips lingering for a couple seconds. She left the room, closing the door, and gave Louis a couple of instructions before hugging him tightly, whispering to him that it would all be ok. He nodded silently, whispering a raspy 'thank you', in her arms before she left Stevens' household. Her walk was slow and tired as she worked her way to her own house, her thoughts non-stop running through her own mind.

When she opened the door, she was grateful to see Miles standing there in the doorway, a worried look on his face. His questioning stopped when he noticed the tears that she had held in all night starting to fall slowly down her face. Without a word, he rushed forward and caught her in his arms as she fell to the floor, weeping into his chest.

oRoEoSoTo


End file.
